Really?
What? Was Tanyon Sturtze unavailable?
Oh...he was? Really? Huh...imagine that.
Anyway, we're not the first to discuss the Yanks' signing of Sir Sidney Ponson...we don't disagree with anything that has been written already. I mean is there anyone out there who wants this guy on their team?
There is?
Really?
Did he just have nothing else to write about? (Note to Jose de Jesus Ortiz: 1) you have a crazy awesome name and 2) blogging is like pooping...don't force it.)
So it looks like we're in for Sid the sequel against the Mets, which I'm actually OK with. As a Yankee fan since the mid-80s I've always rooted for Willie Randolph - and I am convinced that there is no other pitcher out there who has that perfect combination of mental instability and complete lack of control to make a right-next-to-the-third-base-dugout-beaning of Omar Minaya seem completely accidental.
My only real thought is this: pray for Dan Giese. Please. If we ever have to turn to Sidney Ponson for anything, anything at all, then we're in a whole bunch o' trouble. If we can squeeze innings out of Giese now and then, he'll be just like Joba...and then we'll just need Joba to throw 6 or 7 like Moose...and then Moose to throw 7 or 8 like Wang and we're fine!
Right?
Damn. I'll stop forcing it now.
The last thing I need is fissures.
_
Showing posts with label Joba Chamberlain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joba Chamberlain. Show all posts
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Reflecting On "The Start"
Not to be one of those "told ya' so" type of dudes, but...I told ya' so.
Joba's 2 1/3 inning "start" on Tuesday night was strange and sad on many levels. I have thought long and hard about how to address it; how to capture the essence of the evening, especially as Chamberlain labored through 37 1st inning pitches. What were the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells that defined the moment? This is what I've come up with:
Do you remember that old Saturday Night Live sketch in which Jason Priestley plays a figure skater who has worked all his life to make it to the Olympics and his moment has finally arrived? And he steps onto the ice, with his mother, who we are told drove him each early morning to the ice rink several hours from their home, watching nervously from the stands? And on the first leap of his program he falls on his face, illiciting a pained "Oh!" from the commentators (Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey) as they realize the dream is over for this young man? But he gets up, continues to skate, and proceeds to fall every 3-4 seconds until we finally see his lifeless, motionless body sliding across the ice as the announcers begin promoting the events we'll see later in the the night?
That's kind of what I was thinking about as I watched Joba pitch.
_
Joba's 2 1/3 inning "start" on Tuesday night was strange and sad on many levels. I have thought long and hard about how to address it; how to capture the essence of the evening, especially as Chamberlain labored through 37 1st inning pitches. What were the sights, sounds, tastes, and smells that defined the moment? This is what I've come up with:
Do you remember that old Saturday Night Live sketch in which Jason Priestley plays a figure skater who has worked all his life to make it to the Olympics and his moment has finally arrived? And he steps onto the ice, with his mother, who we are told drove him each early morning to the ice rink several hours from their home, watching nervously from the stands? And on the first leap of his program he falls on his face, illiciting a pained "Oh!" from the commentators (Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey) as they realize the dream is over for this young man? But he gets up, continues to skate, and proceeds to fall every 3-4 seconds until we finally see his lifeless, motionless body sliding across the ice as the announcers begin promoting the events we'll see later in the the night?
That's kind of what I was thinking about as I watched Joba pitch.
_
Monday, June 2, 2008
Recipe For a .500 Team
Tonight's ridiculous loss to the Minnesota Twins encapsulated everything that is pathetic about the 2008 version of the New York Yankees. Everyone keeps waiting for "the turnaround," but for every couple of wins will come a couple of losses, in quick succession. That said, let's take the events of tonight's game and apply it to the season as a whole; a season that looks like it is headed down a dark (i.e. postseason-less) road. Here's the must-have list when putting together a .500 year:
1. Get Lots of Hits, But Don't Bother Scoring: The Yankees had 15 hits tonight and 5 runs. That's an infuriating ratio...unless, of course, you love singles. Somehow, the Yankees continue to put men on in every possible combination and still find ways to leave them stranded. In an effort to speed up play, I recommend that, from now on, the Yankees simply put two guys on base at the start of each offensive inning, tell the scoreboard guy to add two hits to their total, and then proceed to make three consecutive outs. It's quicker, more efficient baseball.
2. Make Sure Kyle Farnsworth Gets The Ball In Tight Situations: Can Joba start and relieve? For all the talk of Farnsworth's newfound confidence, he sure still does love to cough up runs in big spots! Homeruns, doubles, untimely walks...Kyle can deliver in any one of many heartbreaking fashions. Seeing him return to the set-up roll is like having an old friend move back into the neighborhood...only now he's an alcoholic, and he keeps coming over to use your bathroom because his is "broken," and then, after he leaves, your wallet's missing, and your wife doesn't want you to let him come over anymore, but you insist that ol' Farnsey really is a "good dude" and is just going through a rough time, and then, one night, he shoots your dog and says that he mistook it for Big Foot.
3. Remember That Leads Are Finite, and Do Not Have To Be Held: Thanks, Andy Pettitte. Your formerly-hormoned ass continues to handle leads about as well as your fragile psyche is handling the Roger Clemens fiasco. Jesus Christ, man! (No, Andy...over here. JC isn't around. It's just you and me.) Three leads blown tonight, and two of them of more than one run. Brilliant, gritty, battle-tested performance there, sir. I salute you. Unfortunately, Chien-Ming Wang and Mike Mussina seem to be following your lead. Aside: Can someone tell them I wasn't being serious, please?
4. Make Sure Your Best Hitters Develop Weird, Unhelpful Habits. Hideki Matsui is second in the American League in average and yet pulls off of EVERY GODDAMN pitch he sees. Tonight's beauty came in the ninth inning when, after A-Rod reached to start the inning and immediately began fucking with Joe Nathan's head at first base, Hideki put an end to that ballyhoo by rolling his hands over on an outside pitch and grounding into a double play. Game over. Add to that Robbie Cano's attempted bunt with 2-on and nobody out earlier in the night and you have the makings of complete offensive ineptitude.
5. Put All of Your "Championship Dreams" on the Shoulders of Children: Joba starts Tuesday! Joba starts Tuesday! Joba starts Tuesday! Thank goodness! Finally, our prayers have been answered! What's that? Shelley Duncan has a homerun stroke! Why, even better! More, you say? Scott Patterson's funky delivery "baffles" hitters? When can I order my playoff tickets? And you're telling me that Melky Cabrera's OBP is nearly .300?! Huzzah! The day is ours!
_
1. Get Lots of Hits, But Don't Bother Scoring: The Yankees had 15 hits tonight and 5 runs. That's an infuriating ratio...unless, of course, you love singles. Somehow, the Yankees continue to put men on in every possible combination and still find ways to leave them stranded. In an effort to speed up play, I recommend that, from now on, the Yankees simply put two guys on base at the start of each offensive inning, tell the scoreboard guy to add two hits to their total, and then proceed to make three consecutive outs. It's quicker, more efficient baseball.
2. Make Sure Kyle Farnsworth Gets The Ball In Tight Situations: Can Joba start and relieve? For all the talk of Farnsworth's newfound confidence, he sure still does love to cough up runs in big spots! Homeruns, doubles, untimely walks...Kyle can deliver in any one of many heartbreaking fashions. Seeing him return to the set-up roll is like having an old friend move back into the neighborhood...only now he's an alcoholic, and he keeps coming over to use your bathroom because his is "broken," and then, after he leaves, your wallet's missing, and your wife doesn't want you to let him come over anymore, but you insist that ol' Farnsey really is a "good dude" and is just going through a rough time, and then, one night, he shoots your dog and says that he mistook it for Big Foot.
3. Remember That Leads Are Finite, and Do Not Have To Be Held: Thanks, Andy Pettitte. Your formerly-hormoned ass continues to handle leads about as well as your fragile psyche is handling the Roger Clemens fiasco. Jesus Christ, man! (No, Andy...over here. JC isn't around. It's just you and me.) Three leads blown tonight, and two of them of more than one run. Brilliant, gritty, battle-tested performance there, sir. I salute you. Unfortunately, Chien-Ming Wang and Mike Mussina seem to be following your lead. Aside: Can someone tell them I wasn't being serious, please?
4. Make Sure Your Best Hitters Develop Weird, Unhelpful Habits. Hideki Matsui is second in the American League in average and yet pulls off of EVERY GODDAMN pitch he sees. Tonight's beauty came in the ninth inning when, after A-Rod reached to start the inning and immediately began fucking with Joe Nathan's head at first base, Hideki put an end to that ballyhoo by rolling his hands over on an outside pitch and grounding into a double play. Game over. Add to that Robbie Cano's attempted bunt with 2-on and nobody out earlier in the night and you have the makings of complete offensive ineptitude.
5. Put All of Your "Championship Dreams" on the Shoulders of Children: Joba starts Tuesday! Joba starts Tuesday! Joba starts Tuesday! Thank goodness! Finally, our prayers have been answered! What's that? Shelley Duncan has a homerun stroke! Why, even better! More, you say? Scott Patterson's funky delivery "baffles" hitters? When can I order my playoff tickets? And you're telling me that Melky Cabrera's OBP is nearly .300?! Huzzah! The day is ours!
_
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Cool Your Joba Jets
With the announcement that Joba Chamberlain will hit the starting rotation on Tuesday night, everyone ("everyone" being the Yankees beat writers, desperate for something to talk about) is proclaiming the moment to be historical; the beginning of an era.
Please allow me to throw some cold water on this over-hyped fire. Joba Chamberlain is slated to throw 65-70 pitches in his first start. Joe Girardi seems optimistic that this pitch count will enable the big doof to make it through 5 innings. However, a quick glance at Joba's stats for the year reveal a sobering fact: he throws, on average, 4.21 pitches to a batter per at-bat. What does this mean? It means, that Chamberlain should reach his pitch count after facing about 17 men -- not even 2 times through the rotation. So, unless the guy is virtually perfect, we're looking at a very early exit.
A momentous event? More like an early relief appearance.
Enjoy those 3 1/3 innings, everybody!
_
Please allow me to throw some cold water on this over-hyped fire. Joba Chamberlain is slated to throw 65-70 pitches in his first start. Joe Girardi seems optimistic that this pitch count will enable the big doof to make it through 5 innings. However, a quick glance at Joba's stats for the year reveal a sobering fact: he throws, on average, 4.21 pitches to a batter per at-bat. What does this mean? It means, that Chamberlain should reach his pitch count after facing about 17 men -- not even 2 times through the rotation. So, unless the guy is virtually perfect, we're looking at a very early exit.
A momentous event? More like an early relief appearance.
Enjoy those 3 1/3 innings, everybody!
_
Friday, May 9, 2008
Do You Dare To Pump Your Fist At Me, Sir?
Scandal has rocked Yankeetown yet again, this time following a much-needed victory. Young Joba Chamberlain’s fist has gotten people talking.
Upon seeing Chamberlain’s boisterous reaction to his 8th inning, two-out strikeout of David Delucci in Wednesday’s matinee (with a three-run lead), I immediately cringed. The kid is a bit of a brat. While energy and enthusiasm is grand (and, one could easily argue, has been missing from this team for several seasons) there comes a point when it starts to look childish.
Joba is reaching that point.
While a small, self-satisfied fist-pump, or slap of the glove, would not raise any eyebrows, the guy celebrated like it was Game 7 of the World Series, or, at the very least, like the situation was pressure-filled. It wasn’t, and the reaction was overblown.
What’s more, when we contrast the "Joba Yell" of yesterday to the reaction following his game-blowing three-run homerun to Delucci on Tuesday night, the childishness becomes more apparent. By now, the moment has been much discussed: Chamberlain, seeming to have suffered a mental break, was filmed pulling the hair out of his head in the dugout following the inning.
Not only is that immature, it’s borderline frightening.
However, it should not go without saying that the Indians (Delucci, in particular) made themselves look pathetic as well, following the game, in response to Joba’s celebration.
First, this nugget from Delucci: “…if a hitter was to do something like that they’d probably say it was bush [league], and you shouldn’t do it…It’s kind of funny how a pitcher can get away with it.”
Ummm, David? Watch much baseball? Hitters don’t get a way with it?! Please refer to Ramirez, Manny; Bonds, Barry; or any other big hitter who likes to watch the ball fly over the fence from the comfort of their batter’s box. Are you seriously that jaded? How many pitchers are notorious for their posturing? Right now, Joba Chamberlain is part of a very small fraternity that includes Carlos Zambrano, and not many dudes wanna be bros with Carlos Zambrano. The number of pompous hitters, though, would take several minutes to list. Spare me your heartache.
Delucci wasn’t done dishing out the truth, however. In comparing his homerun on Tuesday to Chamberlain’s strikeout yesterday, the utility-man bragged, “My homerun was in a much bigger situation, more a key part of the game, and I didn’t dance around and scream.”
Translation: “Neh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehhhh. My homerun was soooo much better than your strikeout. Your strikeout sucked. My homerun rocked. My homerun was totally more awesome than your stupid strikeout.”
On second thought, I take it back. Joba: pump away. You're no worse than anybody else.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain
While the newly ordained and newly insufferable mouthpiece of the Yankees, Hank Steinbrenner, preens and prickles like a spoiled child, placing his frustration over a 10-10 start on the fact that Joba Chamberlain isn't in the starting rotation, it has become frighteningly apparent that no one in the hierarchy is paying attention to, you know, the games being played on the field.
For instance, although many Yankees bloggers (and reporters, and talk show hosts, and my barber) have already made mention of it, does Joba Chamberlain have anything to do with the team's .231 BA with runners in scoring position? What's more, to add insult to the already injury-plagued point, guess who has the most AB with RISP so far this season? That's right, it's Robinson Cano. He's come to the plate a whopping 24 times with runners at second and/or third and hit to the tune of .167. At the risk of oversimplifying the matter, that statistic would be no different if Joba were starting; ere go, Joba is not your problem.
Point the Second, the Yankees have been shut-out 3 times already this year. For a powerhouse offense, that seems rather awful. 30% of your losses have been shutouts? Hmm. For what it's worth, in 2007, the Yankees were shut-out for the third time on June 27. That's a differential of over two months. Have I removed all context in this case? Yes. But it is still a fact.
What's more, the Yankees have scored 41 innings thus far in 2008. On 8 occasions, the pitching staff has failed to post a goose egg in the next inning. In other words, 20% of the time, the Yankees are giving back runs immediately after scoring them. A small sample size? Indeed. But it is still a fact.
Shall I remark on Jason Giambi's .071 BA and .142 SLG?
Hank & Co.: Do the people who spend countless days and nights watching your team play baseball, and, likely, hundreds of dollars (and hours in traffic) each year attending games, really have to point out how unintelligent you sound? Fix what's broken, instead of wasting your breath on issues "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Oh, yes. I dropped Shakespeare on your ass.
_
For instance, although many Yankees bloggers (and reporters, and talk show hosts, and my barber) have already made mention of it, does Joba Chamberlain have anything to do with the team's .231 BA with runners in scoring position? What's more, to add insult to the already injury-plagued point, guess who has the most AB with RISP so far this season? That's right, it's Robinson Cano. He's come to the plate a whopping 24 times with runners at second and/or third and hit to the tune of .167. At the risk of oversimplifying the matter, that statistic would be no different if Joba were starting; ere go, Joba is not your problem.
Point the Second, the Yankees have been shut-out 3 times already this year. For a powerhouse offense, that seems rather awful. 30% of your losses have been shutouts? Hmm. For what it's worth, in 2007, the Yankees were shut-out for the third time on June 27. That's a differential of over two months. Have I removed all context in this case? Yes. But it is still a fact.
What's more, the Yankees have scored 41 innings thus far in 2008. On 8 occasions, the pitching staff has failed to post a goose egg in the next inning. In other words, 20% of the time, the Yankees are giving back runs immediately after scoring them. A small sample size? Indeed. But it is still a fact.
Shall I remark on Jason Giambi's .071 BA and .142 SLG?
Hank & Co.: Do the people who spend countless days and nights watching your team play baseball, and, likely, hundreds of dollars (and hours in traffic) each year attending games, really have to point out how unintelligent you sound? Fix what's broken, instead of wasting your breath on issues "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Oh, yes. I dropped Shakespeare on your ass.
_
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The Professor Presents Your Monthly Dose of Cock-eyed Optimism
I feel we need balance. Don't get me wrong...I am frightened. I've seen what every Yankee starter not named after a penis has looked like thus far. I know about Giambi's injury. I know Johnny Damon is swinging (and still throwing) like me. But we have reason for optimism, fellow fans.
And away we go...(feel free to go ahead and kill me in the comments):
1. Matsui - he's hitting pretty well despite the fact that he's still pulling off the ball. Am I the only one who's seeing this? Even the during the single up the middle today I'm pretty sure his right foot was running toward the dugout.
2. Mo & Joba - It's only been 3 wins, but is there anyone out there who doesn't think that it's entirely realistic that these guys could really "shorten" the games to 6 or 7 innings? Joba has been great, lucky too, but great nonetheless. And Mariano is making all of those guys in my fantasy league who let him drop to me as the 8th closer taken look like the Boston-bandwagon posers they are. Assholes. How you like that Huston Street now?
3. Girardi - He stands up in the dugout during the game. He paces a little. He crosses his arms. It wasn't until today that I realized how much Torre's non-reactions were getting to me over the years. It's enough to me that Joe G occasionally proves his leg muscles work.
4. Dave Eiland - Has continually stressed how much he wants his pitchers to throw inside to keep batters uncomfortable. I cannot wait for David Ortiz's first at bat against us this year. If his feet don't move after the first one or two pitches I will be severely disappointed.
5. Abreu - Quietly going about his business and doing exactly what we expected of him this year.
So, my friends, rejoice! We weren't the ones who were just swept by the Blue Jays!
_
And away we go...(feel free to go ahead and kill me in the comments):
1. Matsui - he's hitting pretty well despite the fact that he's still pulling off the ball. Am I the only one who's seeing this? Even the during the single up the middle today I'm pretty sure his right foot was running toward the dugout.
2. Mo & Joba - It's only been 3 wins, but is there anyone out there who doesn't think that it's entirely realistic that these guys could really "shorten" the games to 6 or 7 innings? Joba has been great, lucky too, but great nonetheless. And Mariano is making all of those guys in my fantasy league who let him drop to me as the 8th closer taken look like the Boston-bandwagon posers they are. Assholes. How you like that Huston Street now?
3. Girardi - He stands up in the dugout during the game. He paces a little. He crosses his arms. It wasn't until today that I realized how much Torre's non-reactions were getting to me over the years. It's enough to me that Joe G occasionally proves his leg muscles work.
4. Dave Eiland - Has continually stressed how much he wants his pitchers to throw inside to keep batters uncomfortable. I cannot wait for David Ortiz's first at bat against us this year. If his feet don't move after the first one or two pitches I will be severely disappointed.
5. Abreu - Quietly going about his business and doing exactly what we expected of him this year.
So, my friends, rejoice! We weren't the ones who were just swept by the Blue Jays!
_
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Professor and The Madman Welcomes The Madman
As the 2008 season progresses and all of you (all 10's of you currently reading "Piss and Wynegar") get to know me, Pasqua, and my colleague, Maas, one thing will become readily apparent: I'm insane.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am a rather rabid Yankees fan, despite a relatively kind and unassuming (and, admittedly, ruggedly handsome) exterior. I am the Bruce Banner of Yankees fans. Case and point: when the Yankees lose there is a part of me that actually believes that they have done so with the sole intention of spiting me. And that's not healthy.
Maas, on the other hand, is a gentleman and a scholar. I only know him to have thrown a chair in anger over a sporting event once, and I think that event was a New York Giants loss. His perspective is less, shall we say, unstable.
So, while we're both passionate and (hopefully, you'll agree) knowledgeable about the Bombers, we are, indeed, "The Professor and The Madman."
Now, with that off of my chest, I shall continue. From time to time, Maas and I will post our "observations" regarding the state of the team. Four games into the season, and with a .500 record secured, I will begin. Forgive the Larry King-style commentary:
1. Despite the 5 month absence of baseball, I feel like I'm watching these games in July. Maybe it's the lack of hitting, or Mike Mussina's horribleness, but the whole feel to the start of this season is rather blah.
2. Holy shit do Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui look old.
3. I think it's adorable that the Yankees signed LaTroy Hawkins to make Kyle Farnsworth feel better about himself. Everybody needs a buddy.
4. Are we going to ask Joe Girardi how he feel about his ____ win every time he wins? "Joe, does the seventy-second win feel as good as the first win? How does it compare?"
5. I am alarmed by the fact that the best defense on the team is being played by Jason Giambi. It makes me believe that there is a rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
6. Base coaches' helmets = machismo.
7. Why I Love Yankees' Fans, Installment #1: As LaTroy Hawkins was in the midst of surrendering 6 runs to the Rays in 2/3 an inning of work, the crowd began to chant "Paul O'Neill!" at him, referencing the fact that Hawkins is the first player to wear #21 since O'Neill retired, and that he has already soiled the sanctity of the jersey.
8. Why I Hate John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, Installment #1: Waldman, on air, asks NY Daily News writer Anthony McCarron, "What did you think of Ian Kennedy tonight, despite the fact that he was getting squeezed on the corners?" Kennedy's line on 4/4: 2.1 IP, 6 ER, 4 H, 4 BB, 2 K). Why even answer the question, Suzyn? It's quite obvious Ian got squeezed to the tune of 6 earned runs.
9. This is, I'm sure, too cynical, but it's unbelievably frustrating to me that Jorge Posada plays out of his mind in his contract year without so much as a head cold, gets his 4-year, $60 million deal, and is out with a sore shoulder after one game.
10. Joba Chamberlain is awesome to watch, but kind of a dick, and he will get one of his teammates maimed or killed this year. He will battle-cry-fist-pump his way to a fastball to the back of A-Rod's head.
Okay...there you have it. Mild commentary for now. But the season is young, and I am a sick, sick man.
_
In the interest of full disclosure, I am a rather rabid Yankees fan, despite a relatively kind and unassuming (and, admittedly, ruggedly handsome) exterior. I am the Bruce Banner of Yankees fans. Case and point: when the Yankees lose there is a part of me that actually believes that they have done so with the sole intention of spiting me. And that's not healthy.
Maas, on the other hand, is a gentleman and a scholar. I only know him to have thrown a chair in anger over a sporting event once, and I think that event was a New York Giants loss. His perspective is less, shall we say, unstable.
So, while we're both passionate and (hopefully, you'll agree) knowledgeable about the Bombers, we are, indeed, "The Professor and The Madman."
Now, with that off of my chest, I shall continue. From time to time, Maas and I will post our "observations" regarding the state of the team. Four games into the season, and with a .500 record secured, I will begin. Forgive the Larry King-style commentary:
1. Despite the 5 month absence of baseball, I feel like I'm watching these games in July. Maybe it's the lack of hitting, or Mike Mussina's horribleness, but the whole feel to the start of this season is rather blah.
2. Holy shit do Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui look old.
3. I think it's adorable that the Yankees signed LaTroy Hawkins to make Kyle Farnsworth feel better about himself. Everybody needs a buddy.
4. Are we going to ask Joe Girardi how he feel about his ____ win every time he wins? "Joe, does the seventy-second win feel as good as the first win? How does it compare?"
5. I am alarmed by the fact that the best defense on the team is being played by Jason Giambi. It makes me believe that there is a rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
6. Base coaches' helmets = machismo.
7. Why I Love Yankees' Fans, Installment #1: As LaTroy Hawkins was in the midst of surrendering 6 runs to the Rays in 2/3 an inning of work, the crowd began to chant "Paul O'Neill!" at him, referencing the fact that Hawkins is the first player to wear #21 since O'Neill retired, and that he has already soiled the sanctity of the jersey.
8. Why I Hate John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, Installment #1: Waldman, on air, asks NY Daily News writer Anthony McCarron, "What did you think of Ian Kennedy tonight, despite the fact that he was getting squeezed on the corners?" Kennedy's line on 4/4: 2.1 IP, 6 ER, 4 H, 4 BB, 2 K). Why even answer the question, Suzyn? It's quite obvious Ian got squeezed to the tune of 6 earned runs.
9. This is, I'm sure, too cynical, but it's unbelievably frustrating to me that Jorge Posada plays out of his mind in his contract year without so much as a head cold, gets his 4-year, $60 million deal, and is out with a sore shoulder after one game.
10. Joba Chamberlain is awesome to watch, but kind of a dick, and he will get one of his teammates maimed or killed this year. He will battle-cry-fist-pump his way to a fastball to the back of A-Rod's head.
Okay...there you have it. Mild commentary for now. But the season is young, and I am a sick, sick man.
_
Friday, March 21, 2008
Hi! My Name is: Joba Chamberlain
Each day, "Piss and Wynegar" will present Yankees "player previews" for the coming 2008 season. In what can only be referred to as a "revelatory" strategy, we will use statistics, as well as opinion, to further our analysis.“And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were sore afraid ... And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of Lincoln a Savior, which is Joba."
Well, let’s be honest…that’s what we’re expecting of this poor bastard.
Joba will be awesome this year. Bullpen, starter…doesn’t matter (though, it’s probably going to be bullpen). [EDIT: It is.] He will be awesome. But, I’m talking realistic awesome. Reliable 8th inning guy awesome. ERA between 2.50 and 3.00 awesome. If you’re looking for anything close to last year you’re asking too much. Not saying it’s not possible…it’s just not likely.
As long as Joba brings the same confidence and fire he brought last year he’ll be…y’know…awesome (the 98 mph fastball and sick breaking balls don’t hurt either). Now, if only he could pitch the 6th, 7th, and 8th of every game.
As long as Joba brings the same confidence and fire he brought last year he’ll be…y’know…awesome (the 98 mph fastball and sick breaking balls don’t hurt either). Now, if only he could pitch the 6th, 7th, and 8th of every game.
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