Carl Pavano, obviously speaking from an undisclosed location:
"When you're down, you expect your organization to pick you up, not kick you when you're down. I've had to pick myself up quite a few times the last four years."
[Deep breath.]
So, Carl. Can I call you Carl? Are you suggesting that you weren't supported by the Yankees over the course of your four pathetic, embarrassing, and borderline criminal years in pinstripes?
[Deeper breath.]
Let me just say this. One of the ways I rationalized the debacle that was "Carl Pavano: Yankee" was by believing that he, at the very least, felt badly for his inability to stay healthy; that when he was cashing his paychecks, he did so with a twinge of guilt and discomfort (in an area other than his shoulder, elbow or ass, mind you).
Now, it is apparent that the only person Carl felt badly for was himself. And that, dear reader, is so, so, so incredibly pathetic.
[Exhale.]
_
Friday, January 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
On Money and Teixeira
When the news came down this afternoon that the Yankees had stolen Mark Teixeira away from those poor old Red Sox (who, really, just can't seem to catch a break, poor kids) my first thought was, "How am I going to deal with the onslaught of bile coming out of the mouths of my Yankee-hating friends and colleagues?"
In truth, picking up Tex for $180 million does, on the surface, appear to solidify the Yankees' status as an embarrassment of riches. I can understand the frustration that fans of other teams are feeling. Cashman and Co. have gone on a spending spree that surprises even most Bomber fans, let alone Bomber bashers; however, in thinking about it this evening I've decided to adopt a harsh, yet sincere mantra: If you don't like it, too bad. Deal with it.
Now, believe me, I do not say this to sound obnoxious (even though it does). Nor do I say it to be antagonistic, or generally arrogant. I say it because I am tired of every fan blaming the Yankees for their team's shortcomings. I am tired of having to defend a team who, more than any other organization in sport, puts its profits back into its product. Consider that for a moment. Can you think of any business (and, yes, folks, it's a business, as entertaining and heart-wrenching as it is) that actually gets ridiculed for catering to its client and working on his behalf? Let me answer: No. No, you do not.
As ridiculous as it may sound, the Yankees are actually victimized by their desire to create a profitable and competitive product. They are victimized by the fact that they represent the "visible evil"; the team that spends an immense amount of money, calls the boring press conferences, and shows up in every sport tabloid no matter what the rumor. Their spending is tangible and apparent.
On the flipside of that coin are all of the teams whose ownership winces and whines over every dollar that they are forced to shell out to their talent. Please spare me the sob story of the "small market team" that can't afford to compete. An owner, whether he is in Kansas City or New York, is going to be a multi-millionaire with his hand in a multitude of industries, all of which have made him rich beyond compare (richer, even, than the Steinbrenners). Where is the outcry when these "small market" owners quietly refuse to do their due diligence and spend money for the benefit of their organization and their fans? Where is the complaint when these same owners pocket their cut of revenue sharing instead of investing it in the team, which was the intent of revenue sharing in the first place? Answer: You don't see it, because the actions on the part of these owners is not tangible; not apparent. Theirs is the "invisible evil," and no one gets upset about what they cannot see.
So, really, who is doing more damage to baseball? If nothing else, the Yankees are a model for how to turn a game into a legacy (of performance and profit). Dare I say it? Maybe others should be taking pointers, instead of pointing fingers.
I'll close with an analogy, and see if it makes sense (I'm not sure it does, but here goes): You have a child, and that child is fortunate enough to build a small fortune through his/her work; more money than anyone in your neighborhood. When your child, then, decides to build a giant house for himself in the middle of the neighborhood, are you going to tell the child, "You can't build that house. Nobody else in the neighborhood has a house that big, so you shouldn't either. Even though your work has enabled you to afford the house, it just wouldn't be fair to everybody else if you built it. Why don't you just buy a small house and keep that fortune hidden away."
Something tells me that wouldn't be your angle.
The Yankees have built their house. They've (literally) earned that right. Deal with it.
_
In truth, picking up Tex for $180 million does, on the surface, appear to solidify the Yankees' status as an embarrassment of riches. I can understand the frustration that fans of other teams are feeling. Cashman and Co. have gone on a spending spree that surprises even most Bomber fans, let alone Bomber bashers; however, in thinking about it this evening I've decided to adopt a harsh, yet sincere mantra: If you don't like it, too bad. Deal with it.
Now, believe me, I do not say this to sound obnoxious (even though it does). Nor do I say it to be antagonistic, or generally arrogant. I say it because I am tired of every fan blaming the Yankees for their team's shortcomings. I am tired of having to defend a team who, more than any other organization in sport, puts its profits back into its product. Consider that for a moment. Can you think of any business (and, yes, folks, it's a business, as entertaining and heart-wrenching as it is) that actually gets ridiculed for catering to its client and working on his behalf? Let me answer: No. No, you do not.
As ridiculous as it may sound, the Yankees are actually victimized by their desire to create a profitable and competitive product. They are victimized by the fact that they represent the "visible evil"; the team that spends an immense amount of money, calls the boring press conferences, and shows up in every sport tabloid no matter what the rumor. Their spending is tangible and apparent.
On the flipside of that coin are all of the teams whose ownership winces and whines over every dollar that they are forced to shell out to their talent. Please spare me the sob story of the "small market team" that can't afford to compete. An owner, whether he is in Kansas City or New York, is going to be a multi-millionaire with his hand in a multitude of industries, all of which have made him rich beyond compare (richer, even, than the Steinbrenners). Where is the outcry when these "small market" owners quietly refuse to do their due diligence and spend money for the benefit of their organization and their fans? Where is the complaint when these same owners pocket their cut of revenue sharing instead of investing it in the team, which was the intent of revenue sharing in the first place? Answer: You don't see it, because the actions on the part of these owners is not tangible; not apparent. Theirs is the "invisible evil," and no one gets upset about what they cannot see.
So, really, who is doing more damage to baseball? If nothing else, the Yankees are a model for how to turn a game into a legacy (of performance and profit). Dare I say it? Maybe others should be taking pointers, instead of pointing fingers.
I'll close with an analogy, and see if it makes sense (I'm not sure it does, but here goes): You have a child, and that child is fortunate enough to build a small fortune through his/her work; more money than anyone in your neighborhood. When your child, then, decides to build a giant house for himself in the middle of the neighborhood, are you going to tell the child, "You can't build that house. Nobody else in the neighborhood has a house that big, so you shouldn't either. Even though your work has enabled you to afford the house, it just wouldn't be fair to everybody else if you built it. Why don't you just buy a small house and keep that fortune hidden away."
Something tells me that wouldn't be your angle.
The Yankees have built their house. They've (literally) earned that right. Deal with it.
_
Sunday, December 7, 2008
It's A Trap!
Can't help but start to think that C.C. Sabathia is leading the Yankees into very dangerous territory and has no qualms about leaving the one team to offer him endless supplies of cash with no rotation to speak of.
At first, I had no problem with C.C. taking his time. "Hey," I rationalized, " If the dude wants to pitcher here, he'll pitch here. If he doesn't, he'll sign somewhere else. He's going to set the market, so even if he bails, the Yanks will still have plenty of options."
Well, the operative part of that thought was, "He'll sign somewhere." Nearly one month after receiving the offer from Cashman & Co., C.C. is silent as a mouse. What's worse is the fact that there are rumblings of other players (like A.J. Burnett and Mark Tex) getting ready to make decisions about their respective futures. So, C.C.'s lack of action and the potential-action of others, has finally put the Yankees in a very unstable situation.
That being said, it's time for Brian "Akbar" Cashman to go on the offensive: set a deadline and prepare to pull the offer to Sabathia.
You know what? Fuck 'em. If C.C. wants to play on the West Coast, more power to him, but the Yankees cannot wait around and let that Death Star of a waistband take us down with him. If the Bombers pull their offer from the table, C.C. will undoubtedly get his wish of where to play, but at a helluva lot less moolah. Sounds fair to me. He'll have to pay a restocking fee for his procrastination, but he'll have what he wants.
On the other hand, a Yankee-imposed deadline could freak the guy out and make him jump to the dotted line, like a splash of cold water to the face. Sabathia can't be waiting for the Yankees to up their offer because, frankly, nobody is going to match it. If it's money he wants, it's money we have, and it's money he shall share. So, what's the hold up? Stop letting him dictate. Essentially, a deadline will force Sabathia to reconcile his true desire: geography, or money. In his heart of hearts, I'm sure he knows which wins.
Regardless, though, if Cashman forces everybody's hand in this stalemate, one thing (at least) is certain: the Yankees won't be totally screwed at the end of it...and, really, that's all we good people of New York care about.
We will not fight you, C.C. There's still good in you. We can feel it.
But, seriously, make up your fucking mind.
_
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Skippy, You're Dominican
In a shocking turn of events, Alex Rodriguez has decided to be Dominican before CC Sabathia has decided to be a Yankee.
I hope nobody had any money on that over/under.
Truly, only ARod could mess up this non-momentous, non-event twice. In the winter of 2006, I recall sitting on the edge of my seat, losing sleep, waiting to find out if our hero would don the uniform of the stars n' stripes for the WBC or honor his Dominican heritage and play for the good ol' D.R. It was a decision Alex ended up making no less than three different times, and in doing so, somehow (as he always does) managed to make himself look like a total ass. And now, in 2008, while he has made his definitive intentions known, he throws this gem into the mix:
“This time, there will be no doubts and it is a dream of my mom’s that I intend to fulfill.”
Ah, "the dream." Oh, how long ARod's mother has yearned to see her son compete for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. Of course, by now we've all heard the now-legendary stories of Mrs. Rod sitting a bright-eyed, tee-ball-aged Alex on her lap and extolling the virtues of playing for the Dominican in a fabricated, money-generating farce of a baseball competition that wouldn't be invented for thirty years.
Well, Mrs. Rod, today your baby boy honors your dream.
And by "honors your dream" I mean, "Uses you so as not to look like a fickle, self-conscious tool."
EDIT: While revisiting the MLB.com article linked in this post, I happened to notice the caption under the picture of ARod. It reads, " 'It will be a very special day for me and my family to see me play again with a Dominican uniform,' said U.S.-born Alex Rodriguez, who claims dual citizenship. " Nicely placed passive-aggressive insult there, MLB. Kudos to you.
_
I hope nobody had any money on that over/under.
Truly, only ARod could mess up this non-momentous, non-event twice. In the winter of 2006, I recall sitting on the edge of my seat, losing sleep, waiting to find out if our hero would don the uniform of the stars n' stripes for the WBC or honor his Dominican heritage and play for the good ol' D.R. It was a decision Alex ended up making no less than three different times, and in doing so, somehow (as he always does) managed to make himself look like a total ass. And now, in 2008, while he has made his definitive intentions known, he throws this gem into the mix:
“This time, there will be no doubts and it is a dream of my mom’s that I intend to fulfill.”
Ah, "the dream." Oh, how long ARod's mother has yearned to see her son compete for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. Of course, by now we've all heard the now-legendary stories of Mrs. Rod sitting a bright-eyed, tee-ball-aged Alex on her lap and extolling the virtues of playing for the Dominican in a fabricated, money-generating farce of a baseball competition that wouldn't be invented for thirty years.
Well, Mrs. Rod, today your baby boy honors your dream.
And by "honors your dream" I mean, "Uses you so as not to look like a fickle, self-conscious tool."
EDIT: While revisiting the MLB.com article linked in this post, I happened to notice the caption under the picture of ARod. It reads, " 'It will be a very special day for me and my family to see me play again with a Dominican uniform,' said U.S.-born Alex Rodriguez, who claims dual citizenship. " Nicely placed passive-aggressive insult there, MLB. Kudos to you.
_
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Andy, Don't Go Away Mad...
...just go away.
Here's a little excerpt from an article by FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal:
First, let me acknowledge that I understand that this is likely just a writer stirring something up to make a very, very dull couple of weeks more interesting. It's all part of the baseball media's smoke and mirrors act, in which "gut feeling" is disguised as "analysis," I know.
But something about those lines struck a chord in me, and I simply feel the need to comment.
If Andy Pettitte truly doesn't feel "wanted," will somebody please remind him to not let the proverbial door hit him on his proverbial ass on the way out of proverbial town? (Scratch that last "proverbial.") Honestly, somewhere in the dark recesses of his God-fearing soul, could Andy Pettitte actually be annoyed that the Yankees are taking a laisez-faire attitude toward resigning him? Please, Ken Rosenthal. Please tell me you're just pulling this out of your ass. (That's rhetorical, Ken. I'm sure you are.)
But let's play along for a minute. It would be the absolute height of ridiculousness if one fiber of Pettitte's being is currently feeling sorry for himself. While Andy has been a big part of the last decade-and-a-half, this is the same man that, conveniently, accepted $16 million from the Yanks last season, just a few short days before the Mitchell Report was released, is it not? Bet the big guy wasn't feeling too unwanted at the moment he realized he was about to become a baseball pariah, huh? Do you think Andy told Brian Cashman, as he picked up that pen and prepared to sign on the dotted line, "Oh, Bri-Bri. Next week I'm going to admit to doing steroids. Is that cool?"
Andy, your ass better feel all-sorts of "wanted" next year. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you constantly look the stadium in fear of bounty hunters. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you ride a steel horse to the park each day. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you insist your baseball card photo consist of a front-facing photo and a profile shot...in black and fucking white.
You owe us one.
_
Here's a little excerpt from an article by FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal:
Mike Mussina has retired, and the Yankees could lose Andy Pettitte, too.
Don't believe it?Pettitte, 36, has spoken more than once with his former manager, Joe Torre, about joining the Dodgers, according to major-league sources.
And, lest anyone forget, Pettitte has a history of changing teams as a free agent when he does not feel completely wanted.
First, let me acknowledge that I understand that this is likely just a writer stirring something up to make a very, very dull couple of weeks more interesting. It's all part of the baseball media's smoke and mirrors act, in which "gut feeling" is disguised as "analysis," I know.
But something about those lines struck a chord in me, and I simply feel the need to comment.
If Andy Pettitte truly doesn't feel "wanted," will somebody please remind him to not let the proverbial door hit him on his proverbial ass on the way out of proverbial town? (Scratch that last "proverbial.") Honestly, somewhere in the dark recesses of his God-fearing soul, could Andy Pettitte actually be annoyed that the Yankees are taking a laisez-faire attitude toward resigning him? Please, Ken Rosenthal. Please tell me you're just pulling this out of your ass. (That's rhetorical, Ken. I'm sure you are.)
But let's play along for a minute. It would be the absolute height of ridiculousness if one fiber of Pettitte's being is currently feeling sorry for himself. While Andy has been a big part of the last decade-and-a-half, this is the same man that, conveniently, accepted $16 million from the Yanks last season, just a few short days before the Mitchell Report was released, is it not? Bet the big guy wasn't feeling too unwanted at the moment he realized he was about to become a baseball pariah, huh? Do you think Andy told Brian Cashman, as he picked up that pen and prepared to sign on the dotted line, "Oh, Bri-Bri. Next week I'm going to admit to doing steroids. Is that cool?"
Andy, your ass better feel all-sorts of "wanted" next year. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you constantly look the stadium in fear of bounty hunters. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you ride a steel horse to the park each day. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you insist your baseball card photo consist of a front-facing photo and a profile shot...in black and fucking white.
You owe us one.
_
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hope CC Doesn't Read the Paper
Leave it to the New York media to find smoke where there is no fire. With the ascension of Hal "The Chemically Balanced One" Steinbrenner to the Yankees throne, it took beat reporters one day to try and turn Boss II into his father.
When Hal remarked (off-handedly, on his way out of a meeting, mind you) that the timetable on the Yankees' ridiculously lucrative offer to CC Sabathia is "not indefinite," reporters decided to make it a scandal. Today's NY Daily News, for instance, grandly pronounces on its cover that Hal has ordered Sabathia to "make up his mind." Other news sources have echoed the sentiment, somehow confusing a bland (and obvious) comment with a stern mandate.
Of course the goddamned offer isn't indefinite. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, it is most surely temporary, if only because it will probably be taken off the table so that the Yanks can offer the big boy even more money when a West Coast team gets in on the bidding.
In any event, the reaction to this non-story got me thinking...imagine if the media treated every mundane remark with the same hyperbolic frenzy:
*"Incredulous McDonald's Employee Insists That Fries Be Considered"
*"Pessimistic Weatherman Refers to Mostly Sunny Day as Partly Cloudy"
*"Cop Orders Suspect to Put Hands on Head; Does Not Say 'Please'"
*"Dentist's Patient Spits While in Chair"
*"Barack Obama Taxes Wealthy; Establishes Socialist Government"
That last one is too ridiculous to even imagine being printed.
In other news: Hey, did you know Mike Mussina retired? Did you know he's a borderline Hall of Famer? Did you know he likes crossword puzzles? Did you know he knew he would retire before this season even began? Did you know he won 20 games for the first time in 2008? Did you know he was kind of a dick to the reporters who are now celebrating him as "his own man"? Did you know he was so bad in 2007 that he lost his spot in the rotation but that everyone has conveniently forgotten that because it tarnishes a "feel good" story?
I sure didn't know all that. I'm glad every reporter on the planet has filled me in over the last 24 hours.
Oh, wait. I did know all that. Wow. I've wasted a lot of time today.
_
When Hal remarked (off-handedly, on his way out of a meeting, mind you) that the timetable on the Yankees' ridiculously lucrative offer to CC Sabathia is "not indefinite," reporters decided to make it a scandal. Today's NY Daily News, for instance, grandly pronounces on its cover that Hal has ordered Sabathia to "make up his mind." Other news sources have echoed the sentiment, somehow confusing a bland (and obvious) comment with a stern mandate.
Of course the goddamned offer isn't indefinite. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, it is most surely temporary, if only because it will probably be taken off the table so that the Yanks can offer the big boy even more money when a West Coast team gets in on the bidding.
In any event, the reaction to this non-story got me thinking...imagine if the media treated every mundane remark with the same hyperbolic frenzy:
*"Incredulous McDonald's Employee Insists That Fries Be Considered"
*"Pessimistic Weatherman Refers to Mostly Sunny Day as Partly Cloudy"
*"Cop Orders Suspect to Put Hands on Head; Does Not Say 'Please'"
*"Dentist's Patient Spits While in Chair"
*"Barack Obama Taxes Wealthy; Establishes Socialist Government"
That last one is too ridiculous to even imagine being printed.
In other news: Hey, did you know Mike Mussina retired? Did you know he's a borderline Hall of Famer? Did you know he likes crossword puzzles? Did you know he knew he would retire before this season even began? Did you know he won 20 games for the first time in 2008? Did you know he was kind of a dick to the reporters who are now celebrating him as "his own man"? Did you know he was so bad in 2007 that he lost his spot in the rotation but that everyone has conveniently forgotten that because it tarnishes a "feel good" story?
I sure didn't know all that. I'm glad every reporter on the planet has filled me in over the last 24 hours.
Oh, wait. I did know all that. Wow. I've wasted a lot of time today.
_
Friday, November 14, 2008
Good Night, Sweet Prince(s)
We suppose it was inevitable. We imagine that we should have seen it coming. We know that all good things must come to an end. But, to quote the Princeton Tigers manager Scott Bradley, after being hit in the chest with a line drive during fielding practice, "Why does it hurt so bad?"
Fire Joe Morgan is no more, and the world is, simply, a darker place for it.
We became avid, voracious readers of FJM three solid years ago. Maas was the one who pointed me in its direction, and I remember my early encounters with the blog as vividly as I do the first dates enjoyed with my now-wife (the main difference being that, thankfully, the boys at FJM posted virtually every day and I didn't have to wait until the weekend and drive three + hours, to the Berkshires, to enjoy their company).
Once, I was lucky enough to earn a sacred "hat tip." It was Opening Day of the 2006 season (Monday, April 3 to be exact). On this day, the esteemed John Kruk (of Baseball Tonight fame) pronounced that the Red Sox would win the AL East; however, only one day earlier, the same venerable Mr. Kruk had predicted the Yankees would win 130 games. I quickly emailed Junior to point out that Kruk, in his own special and boneheaded way, had just bequeathed 130 + wins on the Sawx.
I knew it was a good tidbit. It was right up their alley; another talking head had mindlessly spouted-off a painfully unsubstantiated thought and attempted to pass it off as "insight." He needed to be stopped. Sure enough, within hours, I was immortalized. FJM had deemed my remark "analysis worthy of scorn" and seen fit to add it to the lore and semi-retardedness of John Kruk. To this day, I wear it as a badge of honor.
In the years that followed, I merely took pleasure in visiting the site daily, knowing that the boys were doing righteous and necessary work on behalf of a baseball-loving public that was, on average, 73 1/2 times more intelligent than virtually everyone writing about, or talking about, sports for a living.
In the winter of 2008, when we began this little blog that absolutely no one reads, we recognized that we had two choices, though they were never spoken aloud: 1. Be bad and uninformed enough in our analysis to warrant being lambasted by FJM, or; 2. Copy them.
We chose the latter, and Piss and Wynegar is forever grateful.
When, slowly but surely, the posts at Fire Joe Morgan became more and more infrequent (that is to say, when Ken Tremendous was the only one actually contributing), the writing was on the wall (or, blog...but it wasn't...that's the point) and I was alarmed. Where were the food metaphors? How was I to know if Darin Erstad was feeling particularly gritty and gamer-ish on a given day? Why was Bill Fremp being let off the hook? Fuck the heck?!
Interestingly (and appropriately), however, when I realized that we were actually posting more often than FJM, my alarm quickly and gently transformed into peaceful acceptance.
Their work was done.
Be fruitful, and multiply, Ken, Junior, Dak, Murbles, and Coach. And thank you. It's okay to let go now.
It's okay to let go.
_
Fire Joe Morgan is no more, and the world is, simply, a darker place for it.
We became avid, voracious readers of FJM three solid years ago. Maas was the one who pointed me in its direction, and I remember my early encounters with the blog as vividly as I do the first dates enjoyed with my now-wife (the main difference being that, thankfully, the boys at FJM posted virtually every day and I didn't have to wait until the weekend and drive three + hours, to the Berkshires, to enjoy their company).
Once, I was lucky enough to earn a sacred "hat tip." It was Opening Day of the 2006 season (Monday, April 3 to be exact). On this day, the esteemed John Kruk (of Baseball Tonight fame) pronounced that the Red Sox would win the AL East; however, only one day earlier, the same venerable Mr. Kruk had predicted the Yankees would win 130 games. I quickly emailed Junior to point out that Kruk, in his own special and boneheaded way, had just bequeathed 130 + wins on the Sawx.
I knew it was a good tidbit. It was right up their alley; another talking head had mindlessly spouted-off a painfully unsubstantiated thought and attempted to pass it off as "insight." He needed to be stopped. Sure enough, within hours, I was immortalized. FJM had deemed my remark "analysis worthy of scorn" and seen fit to add it to the lore and semi-retardedness of John Kruk. To this day, I wear it as a badge of honor.
In the years that followed, I merely took pleasure in visiting the site daily, knowing that the boys were doing righteous and necessary work on behalf of a baseball-loving public that was, on average, 73 1/2 times more intelligent than virtually everyone writing about, or talking about, sports for a living.
In the winter of 2008, when we began this little blog that absolutely no one reads, we recognized that we had two choices, though they were never spoken aloud: 1. Be bad and uninformed enough in our analysis to warrant being lambasted by FJM, or; 2. Copy them.
We chose the latter, and Piss and Wynegar is forever grateful.
When, slowly but surely, the posts at Fire Joe Morgan became more and more infrequent (that is to say, when Ken Tremendous was the only one actually contributing), the writing was on the wall (or, blog...but it wasn't...that's the point) and I was alarmed. Where were the food metaphors? How was I to know if Darin Erstad was feeling particularly gritty and gamer-ish on a given day? Why was Bill Fremp being let off the hook? Fuck the heck?!
Interestingly (and appropriately), however, when I realized that we were actually posting more often than FJM, my alarm quickly and gently transformed into peaceful acceptance.
Their work was done.
Be fruitful, and multiply, Ken, Junior, Dak, Murbles, and Coach. And thank you. It's okay to let go now.
It's okay to let go.
_
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Alert: Scott Boras Shows Compassion; Ability to See Beyond Selfish Interests
I...I just...I just don't know what to say.
Scott Boras just made sense.
Of course, it's unrelated to Jason Varitek, or baseball for that matter, but...my god.
I need to go lie down.
While speaking at the GM meetings in California, Boras reflected on the election and ruminated on the role of teachers in America: “College professors are held in high esteem and the same should be true of elementary and high school teachers...I was the beneficiary of an athletic scholarship. We should offer some of our best minds scholarships with the intent on them becoming teachers. You’re talking about the future of our children.”
_
Scott Boras just made sense.
Of course, it's unrelated to Jason Varitek, or baseball for that matter, but...my god.
I need to go lie down.
While speaking at the GM meetings in California, Boras reflected on the election and ruminated on the role of teachers in America: “College professors are held in high esteem and the same should be true of elementary and high school teachers...I was the beneficiary of an athletic scholarship. We should offer some of our best minds scholarships with the intent on them becoming teachers. You’re talking about the future of our children.”
_
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Gentlemen, Start Your Inane Ranting
When the Yankees miss the playoffs, everybody loses.
Pete Abraham (Yankees beat reporter for The Journal News) has a super-terrific blog which, unlike us, he updates a ton with Yankees news. The blog has a HUGE following, but unfortunately many of the readers are completely irrational and infuriatingly stupid. We know this because they can't help but comment on Abe's blog...a lot.
Yesterday, Abraham posted a 4-sentence story which stated, simply, that Larry Bowa was staying with the Dodgers and, thus, the Yankees would have to consider other 3B Coach options, including un-retained Brewers manager, Dale Sveum.
Here's a sampling of the 150 comments (literally) that followed this innocuous piece of information:
"Is Mike Gallejo still with the Rockies coaching staff? He’d be a good choice for 3b coach. What about Tim the Rock Raines?" First: Mike "Gallejo"? Second: Why do people just love to pick a player out of their ass and anoint them as the answer to our base coaching prayers? As if they have some inside information about the way they windmill their arms or hold up their hands as a runner rounds the bag? "Homer Bush was fast. He'd be the perfect 3B coach because he'd make them run harder towards home! We gotta get this guy!"
"[The Brewers] treated Dale Sveum very shabbily. He takes over, gets them to the playoffs and he’s not even considered for the Brewers job?" He "got them to the playoffs" by managing 12 games, over which span they played .500 ball. Is there no justice?
"Nice going Cashbum. You miss out on Bowa and then Gallego. Terrible." "Cashbum." Punny. Also, notice that this guy has bought the previous guy's comment about Gallego hook, line and sinker. Suddenly he's a hot commodity. But, really, he's got a point. How the fuck are we supposed to win a championship if Mike Gallego isn't our fucking 3B coach?!
"Torre is really out to screw his ex-team I bet he begged Bowa to stay, oh well." It's all part of that manipulative bastad's master plan.
"This off-season is turning into an utter disaster." This might be my favorite comment of all, if only for the sheer, pouty lunacy of it. It's October 24th, not a single free agent has been signed by anybody, the World Series is two games old, and an old man who maybe/sort of had a chance at coming back to coach 3B is not coming back. This, of course = disaster for Yankees.
"Might as well trade cano now." Yup. It's over, Johnny. (Let it be said that I'm only, like, 20 comments into this post. These are coming one right after another.)
"Good to see Gallejo land with the A’s. Don’t be surprised he’s the next hot managerial candidate. The man knows baseball." "Gallejo" again. This is becoming like some sort of sociology experiment, where somebody validates a pointless or non-existent "something" and, suddenly, everyone needs to have it, even though they have absolutely no idea why.
"Luis Sojo for 3B coach! He can’t coach 3rd, but he will be a voice in that clubhouse" Obama for President! He can't be President, but he can eat seafood!
"Honestly I could care less who the 3B coach is at this point." Sanity! "Bowa was the ONLY option in my opinion. Anybody else will be the lesser pick as long as it not Meacham I’m alright with it." Less and less sane and then, finally, insane.
"If you want a no nonsense guy as a 3b coach, go get Ted Yost - formers Brewer manager." This guy has so carefully weighed the pros and cons of Yost as a potential 3B coach that he has discovered Yost's first name is actually "Ted," not "Ned," as previously believed by everyone in the fucking free world.
"Letting torre go may eclipse not trading for santana as the move that dooms the franchise." See that old dude drinkin' green tea and blowing out Scott Proctor's arm every year? Johan Santana can't hold that dude's jock strap. (pause) Yes, that Johan Santana. (pause) Yes, the greatest left-handed pitcher in baseball. That one. He's got nothin' on Torre. Nothin.'
"I thought Bowa wanted to return to the East Coast to be with his family? I guess his loyalty to Torre is more important than his family." Conjecture, anyone?
"Phil [Hughes] looks mean with those glasses and sporting the goatee." If by "mean" you mean "sexy" then, hell yeah, he looks mean!
Four months 'til pitchers and catchers, people.
_
Pete Abraham (Yankees beat reporter for The Journal News) has a super-terrific blog which, unlike us, he updates a ton with Yankees news. The blog has a HUGE following, but unfortunately many of the readers are completely irrational and infuriatingly stupid. We know this because they can't help but comment on Abe's blog...a lot.
Yesterday, Abraham posted a 4-sentence story which stated, simply, that Larry Bowa was staying with the Dodgers and, thus, the Yankees would have to consider other 3B Coach options, including un-retained Brewers manager, Dale Sveum.
Here's a sampling of the 150 comments (literally) that followed this innocuous piece of information:
"Is Mike Gallejo still with the Rockies coaching staff? He’d be a good choice for 3b coach. What about Tim the Rock Raines?" First: Mike "Gallejo"? Second: Why do people just love to pick a player out of their ass and anoint them as the answer to our base coaching prayers? As if they have some inside information about the way they windmill their arms or hold up their hands as a runner rounds the bag? "Homer Bush was fast. He'd be the perfect 3B coach because he'd make them run harder towards home! We gotta get this guy!"
"[The Brewers] treated Dale Sveum very shabbily. He takes over, gets them to the playoffs and he’s not even considered for the Brewers job?" He "got them to the playoffs" by managing 12 games, over which span they played .500 ball. Is there no justice?
"Nice going Cashbum. You miss out on Bowa and then Gallego. Terrible." "Cashbum." Punny. Also, notice that this guy has bought the previous guy's comment about Gallego hook, line and sinker. Suddenly he's a hot commodity. But, really, he's got a point. How the fuck are we supposed to win a championship if Mike Gallego isn't our fucking 3B coach?!
"Torre is really out to screw his ex-team I bet he begged Bowa to stay, oh well." It's all part of that manipulative bastad's master plan.
"This off-season is turning into an utter disaster." This might be my favorite comment of all, if only for the sheer, pouty lunacy of it. It's October 24th, not a single free agent has been signed by anybody, the World Series is two games old, and an old man who maybe/sort of had a chance at coming back to coach 3B is not coming back. This, of course = disaster for Yankees.
"Might as well trade cano now." Yup. It's over, Johnny. (Let it be said that I'm only, like, 20 comments into this post. These are coming one right after another.)
"Good to see Gallejo land with the A’s. Don’t be surprised he’s the next hot managerial candidate. The man knows baseball." "Gallejo" again. This is becoming like some sort of sociology experiment, where somebody validates a pointless or non-existent "something" and, suddenly, everyone needs to have it, even though they have absolutely no idea why.
"Luis Sojo for 3B coach! He can’t coach 3rd, but he will be a voice in that clubhouse" Obama for President! He can't be President, but he can eat seafood!
"Honestly I could care less who the 3B coach is at this point." Sanity! "Bowa was the ONLY option in my opinion. Anybody else will be the lesser pick as long as it not Meacham I’m alright with it." Less and less sane and then, finally, insane.
"If you want a no nonsense guy as a 3b coach, go get Ted Yost - formers Brewer manager." This guy has so carefully weighed the pros and cons of Yost as a potential 3B coach that he has discovered Yost's first name is actually "Ted," not "Ned," as previously believed by everyone in the fucking free world.
"Letting torre go may eclipse not trading for santana as the move that dooms the franchise." See that old dude drinkin' green tea and blowing out Scott Proctor's arm every year? Johan Santana can't hold that dude's jock strap. (pause) Yes, that Johan Santana. (pause) Yes, the greatest left-handed pitcher in baseball. That one. He's got nothin' on Torre. Nothin.'
"I thought Bowa wanted to return to the East Coast to be with his family? I guess his loyalty to Torre is more important than his family." Conjecture, anyone?
"Phil [Hughes] looks mean with those glasses and sporting the goatee." If by "mean" you mean "sexy" then, hell yeah, he looks mean!
Four months 'til pitchers and catchers, people.
_
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
"Holy Shit"
I don't believe in "clutch-hitting," or "grittiness." I don't believe that teams "don't play" for managers that they don't like. I don't believe that "chemistry" has any relevance to baseball, and I don't believe that any one person can "will" a team to win.
I do, however, believe in luck. Good and bad. And I believe that luck has an overwhelming impact on the outcome of a baseball game.
The Yankees are done. Is it in part due to injuries? Sure. But every team has injuries. Is it in part due to questionable in-game decisions? Maybe. But every manager makes them. Is it in part due to several players underperforming? Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
But, after watching this baffling 2-1 loss to the Blue Jays, I am convinced that every luck-infected element of this 2008 season has gone against the Yankees.
Case and point: Johnny Damon is moved to center field in order to allow Hideki Matsui to return as the full-time DH, and so that Xavier Nady can stay in the lineup and play left field. Johnny Damon, in his first game in center, drops (okay, "misplays") two fly balls, including the game winner. In all likelihood, if Brett Gardner, or Melky Cabrera, or even Justin Christian had been patrolling the outfield, that last ball would have gotten caught. The three guys who are essentially useless, except for their speed, could have conceivably allowed us to win the game tonight. Instead, a normally reliable Damon (whose bat needed to be in there) takes an 0-3 and drops a couple in the field
Luck. Or, should I say, lack thereof.
As part of their plethora of replays, the YES Network happened to show a shot of the Blue Jays' dugout as the ball bounced off of Damon's glove. The camera focused on A.J. Burnett who -- expectedly -- dominated the Yankees again. Upon watching the drop, Burnett could be seen exclaiming, "Holy shit!"
Holy shit, indeed, sir.
_
I do, however, believe in luck. Good and bad. And I believe that luck has an overwhelming impact on the outcome of a baseball game.
The Yankees are done. Is it in part due to injuries? Sure. But every team has injuries. Is it in part due to questionable in-game decisions? Maybe. But every manager makes them. Is it in part due to several players underperforming? Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
But, after watching this baffling 2-1 loss to the Blue Jays, I am convinced that every luck-infected element of this 2008 season has gone against the Yankees.
Case and point: Johnny Damon is moved to center field in order to allow Hideki Matsui to return as the full-time DH, and so that Xavier Nady can stay in the lineup and play left field. Johnny Damon, in his first game in center, drops (okay, "misplays") two fly balls, including the game winner. In all likelihood, if Brett Gardner, or Melky Cabrera, or even Justin Christian had been patrolling the outfield, that last ball would have gotten caught. The three guys who are essentially useless, except for their speed, could have conceivably allowed us to win the game tonight. Instead, a normally reliable Damon (whose bat needed to be in there) takes an 0-3 and drops a couple in the field
Luck. Or, should I say, lack thereof.
As part of their plethora of replays, the YES Network happened to show a shot of the Blue Jays' dugout as the ball bounced off of Damon's glove. The camera focused on A.J. Burnett who -- expectedly -- dominated the Yankees again. Upon watching the drop, Burnett could be seen exclaiming, "Holy shit!"
Holy shit, indeed, sir.
_
Friday, August 15, 2008
Andy Pettitte Pitches Well Against The Royals...But Can Someone Tell Me Why?
Mind-boggling stuff in the YES broadcast booth tonight. Michael Kay and Al Leiter just spent a solid five minutes contemplating the reason(s) that Andy Pettitte has compiled a 19-3 record against the Kansas City Royals, with a 3.58 ERA, over his 13 year career.
Here are the "factors" that they came up with over the course of their discussion:
--Pettitte gets pumped-up against "this color uniform."
--Pettitte likes pitching in Kaufman Stadium.
--Pettitte likes pitching in Yankee Stadium.
--This game (baseball) is very much "mental."
Study those carefully while I consider all of this.
Let's see.
Can I come up with a better reason?
Hmmm....
Well, staring at those blue helmets would certainly take my game to the next level...
I just don't know...
That record is practically Biblical...
This is a tough one...
Oh, forget it. I just can't...WAIT!
Oh, yeah.
How about the fact that the Kansas City Royals have been fucking horrible for as long as Andy Pettitte has been in the league?!
Kansas City's collective record since 1995 (including 2008): 934 - 1268.
Thus, the Royals are 334 games under .500 over the last 13 years! 334!
Andy Pettitte is 91 games over .500 on his own during that same time frame.
Michael? Al? Do you think that, when a good pitcher faces a god-awful lineup for a decade, the potential outcome might favor the good pitcher?
But, then again...baseball is a seriously mental game.
_
Here are the "factors" that they came up with over the course of their discussion:
--Pettitte gets pumped-up against "this color uniform."
--Pettitte likes pitching in Kaufman Stadium.
--Pettitte likes pitching in Yankee Stadium.
--This game (baseball) is very much "mental."
Study those carefully while I consider all of this.
Let's see.
Can I come up with a better reason?
Hmmm....
Well, staring at those blue helmets would certainly take my game to the next level...
I just don't know...
That record is practically Biblical...
This is a tough one...
Oh, forget it. I just can't...WAIT!
Oh, yeah.
How about the fact that the Kansas City Royals have been fucking horrible for as long as Andy Pettitte has been in the league?!
Kansas City's collective record since 1995 (including 2008): 934 - 1268.
Thus, the Royals are 334 games under .500 over the last 13 years! 334!
Andy Pettitte is 91 games over .500 on his own during that same time frame.
Michael? Al? Do you think that, when a good pitcher faces a god-awful lineup for a decade, the potential outcome might favor the good pitcher?
But, then again...baseball is a seriously mental game.
_
Thursday, August 14, 2008
He Who Must Not Be Named
Something wicked this way comes.
With Dan Giese now headed to the DL, the Yankees are suddenly in need of a 4th starter.
Rumblings have grown into whispers, and whispers (I fear) will soon turn to chilled cries of horror.
Carl Pavano may be ready to return to The Bronx.
If this misfortune is due to befall us, it is understandable. The Connecticut Kid's contract is coming off of the books and the Yankees might certainly want to squeeze some "production" out of their prized, walking infirmary. What's more, when your other pitching option is Phil Hughes, the (former?) crown jewel of prospects, it seems logical that Pavano becomes the guy you rush. What does Brian Cashman care if Pavano is not quite "there"? Get on the mound, dipshit.
So, on the ever-more-realistic chance that Carl makes it back to the Bigs (without incident), here are the possible outcomes, as I see them.
Please choose one of the following:
A) Carl Pavano returns and is abysmal; the Yankees miss the playoffs, and Carl rides, ever-so-quietly, into the sunset, never to be heard from again.
B) Carl Pavano returns and is astoundingly good; the Yankees ride to a world championship on Carl's fragile back; Carl is rewarded by Brian Cashman (whose job has been saved) with a new contract and his career is reborn.
C) Carl Pavano returns and removes himself from his first start in the 3rd inning, citing an unspecified "soreness" that no medical test can confirm or locate; Carl is never heard from again.
D) Car Pavano returns and pitches with a Darrell Rasner-esque mediocrity; the Yankees miss the playoffs, but Carl's performance is just passable enough to warrant a $1 million, incentive-laden, 1-year contract from...let's say...the St. Louis Cardinals.
Personally, I'll vote "D," not only because it's baseball economics at its finest, but because Pavano's stealing money from the Yankees for four years and then parlaying that theft into yet another contract feels like the appropriate way for this whole disaster to end.
Thoughts? Alternative (more infuriating) scenarios?
_
With Dan Giese now headed to the DL, the Yankees are suddenly in need of a 4th starter.
Rumblings have grown into whispers, and whispers (I fear) will soon turn to chilled cries of horror.
Carl Pavano may be ready to return to The Bronx.
If this misfortune is due to befall us, it is understandable. The Connecticut Kid's contract is coming off of the books and the Yankees might certainly want to squeeze some "production" out of their prized, walking infirmary. What's more, when your other pitching option is Phil Hughes, the (former?) crown jewel of prospects, it seems logical that Pavano becomes the guy you rush. What does Brian Cashman care if Pavano is not quite "there"? Get on the mound, dipshit.
So, on the ever-more-realistic chance that Carl makes it back to the Bigs (without incident), here are the possible outcomes, as I see them.
Please choose one of the following:
A) Carl Pavano returns and is abysmal; the Yankees miss the playoffs, and Carl rides, ever-so-quietly, into the sunset, never to be heard from again.
B) Carl Pavano returns and is astoundingly good; the Yankees ride to a world championship on Carl's fragile back; Carl is rewarded by Brian Cashman (whose job has been saved) with a new contract and his career is reborn.
C) Carl Pavano returns and removes himself from his first start in the 3rd inning, citing an unspecified "soreness" that no medical test can confirm or locate; Carl is never heard from again.
D) Car Pavano returns and pitches with a Darrell Rasner-esque mediocrity; the Yankees miss the playoffs, but Carl's performance is just passable enough to warrant a $1 million, incentive-laden, 1-year contract from...let's say...the St. Louis Cardinals.
Personally, I'll vote "D," not only because it's baseball economics at its finest, but because Pavano's stealing money from the Yankees for four years and then parlaying that theft into yet another contract feels like the appropriate way for this whole disaster to end.
Thoughts? Alternative (more infuriating) scenarios?
_
Optimist? Pessimist? Either Way, You're Wrong
With the dreadful 3-7 West Coast road trip officially (and unfortunately) in the books, many Yankees fans, Yankees haters, sports writers, and talk show hosts have decided that now is the time to declare the Yankees dead in the water. In fact, in today's New York Post, Peter King has gone so far as to eulogize the Bombers' 2008 campaign.
Okay. Fine. You're more than welcome to dance on the grave of a team that looks more pathetic than it has in recent memory. The road trip was atrocious, and we certainly can't deny that the boys currently deserve a vote of "no confidence"; however, most people are burying the Yankees for silly reasons. Pessimists argue that the Yankees show "no heart," "no desire," "inconsistency," blah, blah, blah.
On the other hand, optimists who are hell-bent on seeing the Yankees make the postseason are equally misguided in their reasoning. Case and point: today I heard a caller to WFAN actually argue that the Yankees will make the playoffs because they have a $200 million payroll. When pressed as to explain how that guaranteed them a berth, the caller argued, "They haven't missed the playoffs in any year that they've had a $200 million payroll!"
Gulp.
Well, I just don't know where I fall in this debate. To say the Yankees are done is premature, but to say they are going to make a run into October seems ignorant. So, to see just how much doo-doo this team has stepped in, I went back and looked at the standings as of August 14th in each year of the Yanks' playoff run. What I found should alarm us all.
8/14/2008: 64-57
AL East: 9 G back of Tampa Bay (3rd Place)
Wild Card: 6 G back of Boston (3rd Place)
8/14/2007: 67-52
AL East: 5 G back of Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 1/2 G back of Seattle (2nd Place)
8/14/2006: 69-46
AL East: 2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2005: 64-52
AL East: 4 1/2 G back of Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 3 1/2 G back of Oakland (2nd Place)
8/14/2004: 75-41
AL East: 10 1/2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2003: 72-47
AL East: 3 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2002: 74-44
AL East: 5 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2001: 70-49
AL East: 4 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2000: 64-50
AL East: 4 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/1999: 71-44
AL East: 6 1/2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/1998: 89-29 (!)
AL East: 18 1/2 G ahead of Boston (!) (1st Place)
8/14/1997: 71-48
AL East: 4 G behind Baltimore (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 7 G ahead of Texas (1st Place)
8/14/1996: 70-49
AL East: 7 1/2 G ahead of Baltimore (1st Place)
8/14/1995: 51-49
AL East: 10 G behind Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 1 1/2 G behind Texas (tied for 2nd Place)
Remember last season when everyone was proclaiming that the Yankees were done in early July? It looked pretty bleak, but by 8/14/07 the team was essentially tied for the Wild Card lead and charging. Compare that to a 6 game deficit as of today...not good. Also, in 1995 (before the soon-to-be-powerhouse-Yankees was fully in place) the team was only 2 games over .500 but a mere 1 1/2 games out of a Wild Card berth. Compare that, again, to our current situation and that knot in your stomach might just grow a little tighter.
So, what am I saying? In short: in their decade-and-a-half run, the Yankees have never been this far behind this late in the season . Thus, while we certainly can't count them out, the Yankees will literally have to overcome their deepest statistical deficit in order to make the playoffs for a 14th straight year.
We're not giving up here. We're just being realistic.
Oh, and stop citing 1978 as your argument that the team is going to make it. On 8/14/1978 the Yankees were 8 games behind the Red Sox (without the benefit of a Wild Card race) whereas the Bombers find themselves 9 games in back of Tampa Bay today. Moreover, the '78 argument is rendered moot because of the fact that the reason people still talk about 1978 is because it was a once-in-a-freaking-lifetime anomaly.
_
Okay. Fine. You're more than welcome to dance on the grave of a team that looks more pathetic than it has in recent memory. The road trip was atrocious, and we certainly can't deny that the boys currently deserve a vote of "no confidence"; however, most people are burying the Yankees for silly reasons. Pessimists argue that the Yankees show "no heart," "no desire," "inconsistency," blah, blah, blah.
On the other hand, optimists who are hell-bent on seeing the Yankees make the postseason are equally misguided in their reasoning. Case and point: today I heard a caller to WFAN actually argue that the Yankees will make the playoffs because they have a $200 million payroll. When pressed as to explain how that guaranteed them a berth, the caller argued, "They haven't missed the playoffs in any year that they've had a $200 million payroll!"
Gulp.
Well, I just don't know where I fall in this debate. To say the Yankees are done is premature, but to say they are going to make a run into October seems ignorant. So, to see just how much doo-doo this team has stepped in, I went back and looked at the standings as of August 14th in each year of the Yanks' playoff run. What I found should alarm us all.
8/14/2008: 64-57
AL East: 9 G back of Tampa Bay (3rd Place)
Wild Card: 6 G back of Boston (3rd Place)
8/14/2007: 67-52
AL East: 5 G back of Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 1/2 G back of Seattle (2nd Place)
8/14/2006: 69-46
AL East: 2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2005: 64-52
AL East: 4 1/2 G back of Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 3 1/2 G back of Oakland (2nd Place)
8/14/2004: 75-41
AL East: 10 1/2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2003: 72-47
AL East: 3 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2002: 74-44
AL East: 5 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2001: 70-49
AL East: 4 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/2000: 64-50
AL East: 4 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/1999: 71-44
AL East: 6 1/2 G ahead of Boston (1st Place)
8/14/1998: 89-29 (!)
AL East: 18 1/2 G ahead of Boston (!) (1st Place)
8/14/1997: 71-48
AL East: 4 G behind Baltimore (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 7 G ahead of Texas (1st Place)
8/14/1996: 70-49
AL East: 7 1/2 G ahead of Baltimore (1st Place)
8/14/1995: 51-49
AL East: 10 G behind Boston (2nd Place)
Wild Card: 1 1/2 G behind Texas (tied for 2nd Place)
Remember last season when everyone was proclaiming that the Yankees were done in early July? It looked pretty bleak, but by 8/14/07 the team was essentially tied for the Wild Card lead and charging. Compare that to a 6 game deficit as of today...not good. Also, in 1995 (before the soon-to-be-powerhouse-Yankees was fully in place) the team was only 2 games over .500 but a mere 1 1/2 games out of a Wild Card berth. Compare that, again, to our current situation and that knot in your stomach might just grow a little tighter.
So, what am I saying? In short: in their decade-and-a-half run, the Yankees have never been this far behind this late in the season . Thus, while we certainly can't count them out, the Yankees will literally have to overcome their deepest statistical deficit in order to make the playoffs for a 14th straight year.
We're not giving up here. We're just being realistic.
Oh, and stop citing 1978 as your argument that the team is going to make it. On 8/14/1978 the Yankees were 8 games behind the Red Sox (without the benefit of a Wild Card race) whereas the Bombers find themselves 9 games in back of Tampa Bay today. Moreover, the '78 argument is rendered moot because of the fact that the reason people still talk about 1978 is because it was a once-in-a-freaking-lifetime anomaly.
_
Monday, August 11, 2008
An Analogy
I remember when I used to take multiple choice tests in high school. Occasionally, you'd get a stretch of consecutive questions that all, apparently, had the same answer (let's say, for the sake of this example, "C").
Even though you might have been feeling confident with your answers, when you got to, about, the fourth question in a row with an answer of "C," you'd begin thinking to yourself, "One of these must be wrong. The teacher wouldn't put four "C's" in a row. That's just not logical."
So, inevitably, you'd psych yourself out and change an answer to (let's say) "D," because you had suddenly decided to play a one-sided, psychological chess match with your teacher; a teacher who probably hadn't even realized that he had crafted four questions in a row with an answer of "C."
When you got the test back a few days later, that one answer you had changed to "D" was, of course, wrong, and lo and behold, all four answers were, in fact, "C." You'd then curse yourself, swearing to never again go against your instinct.
By sitting Johnny Damon tonight against the Twins in favor of Justin Christian (hitting leadoff, no less) -- the same Johnny Damon that is 13-32 (.406) on a road trip that has seen your team lose 5 of 7 games and fall four back of the Wild Card lead -- Joe Girardi has essentially changed his answer from "C" to "D."
After watching the Yankees get shut-out tonight and fall to defeat for the fourth consecutive time, it's fair to say that the skipper probably wants that decision back.
I learned to stop overthinking in high school, Joe. How 'bout you?
_
Even though you might have been feeling confident with your answers, when you got to, about, the fourth question in a row with an answer of "C," you'd begin thinking to yourself, "One of these must be wrong. The teacher wouldn't put four "C's" in a row. That's just not logical."
So, inevitably, you'd psych yourself out and change an answer to (let's say) "D," because you had suddenly decided to play a one-sided, psychological chess match with your teacher; a teacher who probably hadn't even realized that he had crafted four questions in a row with an answer of "C."
When you got the test back a few days later, that one answer you had changed to "D" was, of course, wrong, and lo and behold, all four answers were, in fact, "C." You'd then curse yourself, swearing to never again go against your instinct.
By sitting Johnny Damon tonight against the Twins in favor of Justin Christian (hitting leadoff, no less) -- the same Johnny Damon that is 13-32 (.406) on a road trip that has seen your team lose 5 of 7 games and fall four back of the Wild Card lead -- Joe Girardi has essentially changed his answer from "C" to "D."
After watching the Yankees get shut-out tonight and fall to defeat for the fourth consecutive time, it's fair to say that the skipper probably wants that decision back.
I learned to stop overthinking in high school, Joe. How 'bout you?
_
When John Sterling Thinks You Suck, You Must Really Suck
The Yankees are spiraling out of control, and you need not actually watch a game to understand that this is true. All you need to do is listen.
Normally, on the radio side of things, John Sterling views the Yanks with the proverbial rose-colored glasses. When things go well, it's due to the perfection of the pinstripes; when things go awry, well, "you just can't figure this game out." On the flipside (the TV side), Michael Kay likes to avoid any genuine criticism of the Bombers for fear of offending sensitive YES Network ears (i.e., the suits that sign his checks).
To listen to both of these yakkers in the last two days is to listen to two "glass half-full" voices that are ready to simply smash said glass against the floor.
Yesterday, in the midst of what would become yet another crushing loss, Sterling took the Yankees to task for repeatedly failing to get runners in from third with less than two outs. With no clever homerun calls on the horizon, and seemingly at his wit's end, The Voice literally counted-up the missed opportunities, conjecturing that, had the Yankees shown any ability with RISP throughout the year, the team would not only be winning this game, but would be atop their division. Tough talk from a dude that spends 75% of his air time repeating the word "amazing."
Meanwhile, Michael Kay, during tonight's Yanks/Twins game, became nearly apoplectic as the boys (yet again) failed to drive-in a runner from third (this time with no one out). "Un-be-lievable" enunciated Kay as Melky Cabrera grounded into a routine double play to end the inning. He then spent the better part of the next half-inning theorizing on just how an entire lineup could fail so miserably, so often, in trying to complete a simple task.
While these examples may not seem earth-shatteringly critical, the simple fact that they were uttered at all (by these two, no less) is proof positive that the organization is in full-fledged panic mode. And, really, who can blame them?
_
Normally, on the radio side of things, John Sterling views the Yanks with the proverbial rose-colored glasses. When things go well, it's due to the perfection of the pinstripes; when things go awry, well, "you just can't figure this game out." On the flipside (the TV side), Michael Kay likes to avoid any genuine criticism of the Bombers for fear of offending sensitive YES Network ears (i.e., the suits that sign his checks).
To listen to both of these yakkers in the last two days is to listen to two "glass half-full" voices that are ready to simply smash said glass against the floor.
Yesterday, in the midst of what would become yet another crushing loss, Sterling took the Yankees to task for repeatedly failing to get runners in from third with less than two outs. With no clever homerun calls on the horizon, and seemingly at his wit's end, The Voice literally counted-up the missed opportunities, conjecturing that, had the Yankees shown any ability with RISP throughout the year, the team would not only be winning this game, but would be atop their division. Tough talk from a dude that spends 75% of his air time repeating the word "amazing."
Meanwhile, Michael Kay, during tonight's Yanks/Twins game, became nearly apoplectic as the boys (yet again) failed to drive-in a runner from third (this time with no one out). "Un-be-lievable" enunciated Kay as Melky Cabrera grounded into a routine double play to end the inning. He then spent the better part of the next half-inning theorizing on just how an entire lineup could fail so miserably, so often, in trying to complete a simple task.
While these examples may not seem earth-shatteringly critical, the simple fact that they were uttered at all (by these two, no less) is proof positive that the organization is in full-fledged panic mode. And, really, who can blame them?
_
Friday, August 8, 2008
Ian Kennedy Never Met An Inning In Which He Couldn't Get Pulled
About halfway between Scranton-Wilkes Barre, PA and The Bronx, NY, can be found West Milford, NJ. This is where Ian Kennedy should make his home...maybe even start his own minor league franchise.
You see, Mr. Kennedy has all the makings of a AAAA pitcher; better than the best minor leaguers, but worse than the worst Major Leaguers. While he looks good in Pennsylvania, under the bright lights of the Big Time he is a lost little boy.
In the minors, Ian has posted a lovely career ERA of 2.01 and an even lovelier WHIP 0.95. He has struck out 214 men in just under 204 innings, given up only 9 homeruns, and yielded only 127 hits.
In the Majors, the same sad clown has pitched to the tune of a 5.56 ERA and a 1.55 WHIP. In just under 60 innings he has surrendered 6 homeruns and struck out 41 men. Mind you, this does not even take into account his "triumphant return" against the Angels of 2+ innings, 9 hits, and 5 ER.
To make matters worse? Kennedy is a bonafied bullpen assassin, as he has averaged a whopping 4 innings in 10 Major League starts this year.
It would be logical to cry "sample size" and reason that the kid just needs time and warrants patience. All true; however, aside from the stats, it's the body language that scares me.
Is this the kind of look that sends chills down the spine of opponents? And, consider, it is a look repeated inning after inning, hanging-changeup after hanging-changeup.
Good luck, Ian. You're gonna need it.
UPDATE (8/9): A day after his disastrous turn, Kennedy is catching heat for remarking after the game that he was "not too upset" about getting shelled. This particular comment doesn't bother me; however, it's another (less publicized) reflection that makes me chuckle. After the game Kennedy also commented: "It's my first bad outing in a long time, since the All-Star Break." Son, in case you didn't notice, your ass was in Wilkes-Barre during the All-Star Break, and those great starts you remember so fondly? All in the minors.
_
You see, Mr. Kennedy has all the makings of a AAAA pitcher; better than the best minor leaguers, but worse than the worst Major Leaguers. While he looks good in Pennsylvania, under the bright lights of the Big Time he is a lost little boy.
In the minors, Ian has posted a lovely career ERA of 2.01 and an even lovelier WHIP 0.95. He has struck out 214 men in just under 204 innings, given up only 9 homeruns, and yielded only 127 hits.
In the Majors, the same sad clown has pitched to the tune of a 5.56 ERA and a 1.55 WHIP. In just under 60 innings he has surrendered 6 homeruns and struck out 41 men. Mind you, this does not even take into account his "triumphant return" against the Angels of 2+ innings, 9 hits, and 5 ER.
To make matters worse? Kennedy is a bonafied bullpen assassin, as he has averaged a whopping 4 innings in 10 Major League starts this year.
It would be logical to cry "sample size" and reason that the kid just needs time and warrants patience. All true; however, aside from the stats, it's the body language that scares me.
Is this the kind of look that sends chills down the spine of opponents? And, consider, it is a look repeated inning after inning, hanging-changeup after hanging-changeup.
Good luck, Ian. You're gonna need it.
UPDATE (8/9): A day after his disastrous turn, Kennedy is catching heat for remarking after the game that he was "not too upset" about getting shelled. This particular comment doesn't bother me; however, it's another (less publicized) reflection that makes me chuckle. After the game Kennedy also commented: "It's my first bad outing in a long time, since the All-Star Break." Son, in case you didn't notice, your ass was in Wilkes-Barre during the All-Star Break, and those great starts you remember so fondly? All in the minors.
_
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Let's Play "Name That Headline"!
With Xavier Nady propelling the Yankees to a 14-9, "come-from-behind" (x 2) victory over the Angels today (four hits, 6 RBI), I think today is the perfect day to play a round of "Name That Headline". Your goal: correctly guess the wordplay / pun / rhyme that will grace the back cover of at least one of the major New York tabloids tomorrow.
I'll give it a go!
"X Man"
"X Marks The Spot"
"X Factor"
"Xavier The Savior"
"Thanks, We Nady'd That"
"Astros Sweep Mets"
_
I'll give it a go!
"X Man"
"X Marks The Spot"
"X Factor"
"Xavier The Savior"
"Thanks, We Nady'd That"
"Astros Sweep Mets"
_
Friday, August 1, 2008
Riddle Me This
I wrote the other day of Mariano Rivera's bizarre tendency to spit the bit in non-save situations. It happened to be an evening on which he allowed a homerun in "garbage time" against the Baltimore Orioles. The homerun ended up being the difference, after a 9th inning rally by the Yankees came up one run short.
It has happened again tonight, but this time the pill is even more bitter. Once again, Rivera coughed-up a game; this time to the Anaheim Angels; this time in what was a 0-0 game.
My frustration over this strange tendency of The Sandman's should not confused with WFAN - esque overreaction. I'm not saying that Rivera is "losing it," or that he's not still a dominant pitcher. What I am saying, though, is that his "Save" situation vs. "Non-Save" situation splits are ridiculous and warrant heavy, heavy scrutiny. Observe:
Save Situations (2008):
Games: 26
Saves: 26
Innings: 27.1
Earned Runs: 1 (!)
ERA: 0.33 (!)
WHIP: 0.52 (!)
Homeruns: 0
Strikeouts: 33
Non-Save Situations (2008)
Games: 18
Innings: 21
Earned Runs: 7
ERA: 3.43
WHIP: 1.00
Homeruns: 3
Strikeouts: 25
Taken alone, the "Non-Save" splits are fine (probably better than a large percentage of closers); however, compared to the "Save" splits, it is obvious that Rivera is simply a different pitcher this year when the situation is not, shall we say, dire. His "Non-Save" ERA is 10 x higher than his "Save" ERA (which is, admittedly, inhuman), his WHIP doubles when he's not protecting a lead, he shows a proclivity for the long ball, and his strikeout ratio suffers.
After Mo gave up the winning run tonight, Michael Kay wondered aloud if the "adrenaline rush" is just not the same for Rivera in non-save situations. This is lunacy on two fronts: 1) In a 0-0 game in the 9th inning, against the best team in baseball, on a night when you find yourself 1.5 games back of a Wild Card birth and 4.5 games out of your division, to say that Rivera lacked adrenaline is just plain lazy analysis; 2) Mariano Rivera is in the first year of a contract that will pay him $45,000,000. Is it really that hard to pump it up?
To place the blame on Rivera for a loss like this is unfair -- the team had five hits and looked uninspired on all offensive fronts -- but it's time to wonder aloud why our Hall-of-Fame-closer can't handle a tie game. Is it an anomoly, or is there an answer?
_
It has happened again tonight, but this time the pill is even more bitter. Once again, Rivera coughed-up a game; this time to the Anaheim Angels; this time in what was a 0-0 game.
My frustration over this strange tendency of The Sandman's should not confused with WFAN - esque overreaction. I'm not saying that Rivera is "losing it," or that he's not still a dominant pitcher. What I am saying, though, is that his "Save" situation vs. "Non-Save" situation splits are ridiculous and warrant heavy, heavy scrutiny. Observe:
Save Situations (2008):
Games: 26
Saves: 26
Innings: 27.1
Earned Runs: 1 (!)
ERA: 0.33 (!)
WHIP: 0.52 (!)
Homeruns: 0
Strikeouts: 33
Non-Save Situations (2008)
Games: 18
Innings: 21
Earned Runs: 7
ERA: 3.43
WHIP: 1.00
Homeruns: 3
Strikeouts: 25
Taken alone, the "Non-Save" splits are fine (probably better than a large percentage of closers); however, compared to the "Save" splits, it is obvious that Rivera is simply a different pitcher this year when the situation is not, shall we say, dire. His "Non-Save" ERA is 10 x higher than his "Save" ERA (which is, admittedly, inhuman), his WHIP doubles when he's not protecting a lead, he shows a proclivity for the long ball, and his strikeout ratio suffers.
After Mo gave up the winning run tonight, Michael Kay wondered aloud if the "adrenaline rush" is just not the same for Rivera in non-save situations. This is lunacy on two fronts: 1) In a 0-0 game in the 9th inning, against the best team in baseball, on a night when you find yourself 1.5 games back of a Wild Card birth and 4.5 games out of your division, to say that Rivera lacked adrenaline is just plain lazy analysis; 2) Mariano Rivera is in the first year of a contract that will pay him $45,000,000. Is it really that hard to pump it up?
To place the blame on Rivera for a loss like this is unfair -- the team had five hits and looked uninspired on all offensive fronts -- but it's time to wonder aloud why our Hall-of-Fame-closer can't handle a tie game. Is it an anomoly, or is there an answer?
_
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Madman: Yankees, Why Do You Tease Me?
There is no better time than following a torrid winning streak to complain about the team that you love.
I realize now how unfortunate it is that we did not post much of anything over the course of eight wonderful days for the Yankees. We saw lots of wins, resulting in a legitimate division-lead push, a fantastic (if mildly overrated) trade, and a series win in Fenway. If only we had decided to chime in then, and talk about how proud we were of this team.
But, alas, The Madman has returned to spew his bile in the midst of a logic-defying losing streak; a losing streak that has brought back to light all of the Yankees' shortcomings: a lack of dependable starting pitching, a "light switch" offense that rises and falls like an ocean tide (ooh, figurative language!), and a frustrating tendency to play down to the level of the competition.
Things, in no particular order, that have caused me to pout:
It's my own fault that I continue to listen to sports talk radio, but I can't believe how many "fans" call-in to complain that Alex Rodriguez and Richie Sexson are problems for this team. Does anybody watch the games? A-Rod continues to produce and produce and produce. Richie Sexson continues to sit on the bench, the bench, the bench and (when on the field) play firstbase at a higher level than Giambi and Betemit put together. Please direct your frustrations at legitimate concerns, like...
Melky Cabrera. Everybody makes a big deal about the injuries the Yankees have suffered this year, but I maintain that it's the injuries that haven't befallen us that are holding us back. Why can't Melky and his .652 OPS (2nd worst amongst starters), his 127 Total Bases (worst amongst starters), and his 28 Walks (worst amongst starters) pull a hamstring once in a while?
Robinson Cano. Thanks, Robbie, for remembering that you play professional baseball! If I hear one more person talk about the "cold weather" hampering Cano's swing I'm going to impale him or her with a piece of shattered, maple bat. A really hot July and August does not negate three months of shit. The man makes millions to hit the ball and (occasionally) field it. Learn to do both of those things - you know - the whole fucking year.
Darrel Rasner. Will someone please put this kid out of his misery? Pitching to a 1.80 ERA in May, Rasner ballooned to a 6.47 in June and, fortunately, has trimmed that ERA down to a healthy 6.32 in July. I know ERA doesn't tell you everything you need to know about a pitcher, but in Rasner's case, it does. He stinks. A lot. And yet, the brass seems to believe that he'll return to form. What they don't realize is that Darrell is in form. This is him. And that's a problem.
Derek Jeter. I could talk about The Captain's subpar year, but that doesn't really get to me. In the end, his numbers will be fine. He's actually on pace to strike out less than he has in the last five years; however, my complaint revolves around one statistic in particular: double plays. Derek has grounded into 16 of these bad boys so far in 2008, leading the team. In the last week alone, I've seen him hit into three, each time with a runner in scoring position. This type of inning-killing, out-creating must stop in order for the Yankees to succeed.
Jorge Posada. Damn you, sir, and your shoulder muscle tear. What frustrates me about Posada, besides the massive contract that looks like it will serve as a pre-pension pension by the time these four years are up, is the diva-like attitude that Jorge adopted, all the while knowing that his shoulder was shot. He complained about not wanting to play first; that he was a catcher and wanted to catch (goddamit!); that it was unfair to say he could no longer make the throw to second. A week later, he's riding the pine and deciding when (not if) to have his surgery. Thanks for holding us up for a good two months, Jorge. Much obliged.
Mariano Rivera: I know. Blasphemy. But, seriously, Mo, is the excitement of a save opportunity the only thing that gets you going? Rivera has given up runs in only seven (!) appearances this year, yet six (!) of those appearances have been non-save situations (with the Yankees either tied or trailing). The most recent example has occurred as I type this very complaint, as Mo has given up a "garbage time" homerun against the Orioles that has ended up being the game loser, as the Yankees have executed one of their patented "Holy-Shit-It's-The-9th-Inning-Let's- Take-Our-At-Bats-Seriously" comebacks. Michael Kay likes to insist that Rivera is having his best year ever. Trust me...he's not.
Xavier Nady / Damaso Marte. They really haven't done anything badly. But they will! Oh, yes, they will.
And The Madman will be watching.
_
I realize now how unfortunate it is that we did not post much of anything over the course of eight wonderful days for the Yankees. We saw lots of wins, resulting in a legitimate division-lead push, a fantastic (if mildly overrated) trade, and a series win in Fenway. If only we had decided to chime in then, and talk about how proud we were of this team.
But, alas, The Madman has returned to spew his bile in the midst of a logic-defying losing streak; a losing streak that has brought back to light all of the Yankees' shortcomings: a lack of dependable starting pitching, a "light switch" offense that rises and falls like an ocean tide (ooh, figurative language!), and a frustrating tendency to play down to the level of the competition.
Things, in no particular order, that have caused me to pout:
It's my own fault that I continue to listen to sports talk radio, but I can't believe how many "fans" call-in to complain that Alex Rodriguez and Richie Sexson are problems for this team. Does anybody watch the games? A-Rod continues to produce and produce and produce. Richie Sexson continues to sit on the bench, the bench, the bench and (when on the field) play firstbase at a higher level than Giambi and Betemit put together. Please direct your frustrations at legitimate concerns, like...
Melky Cabrera. Everybody makes a big deal about the injuries the Yankees have suffered this year, but I maintain that it's the injuries that haven't befallen us that are holding us back. Why can't Melky and his .652 OPS (2nd worst amongst starters), his 127 Total Bases (worst amongst starters), and his 28 Walks (worst amongst starters) pull a hamstring once in a while?
Robinson Cano. Thanks, Robbie, for remembering that you play professional baseball! If I hear one more person talk about the "cold weather" hampering Cano's swing I'm going to impale him or her with a piece of shattered, maple bat. A really hot July and August does not negate three months of shit. The man makes millions to hit the ball and (occasionally) field it. Learn to do both of those things - you know - the whole fucking year.
Darrel Rasner. Will someone please put this kid out of his misery? Pitching to a 1.80 ERA in May, Rasner ballooned to a 6.47 in June and, fortunately, has trimmed that ERA down to a healthy 6.32 in July. I know ERA doesn't tell you everything you need to know about a pitcher, but in Rasner's case, it does. He stinks. A lot. And yet, the brass seems to believe that he'll return to form. What they don't realize is that Darrell is in form. This is him. And that's a problem.
Derek Jeter. I could talk about The Captain's subpar year, but that doesn't really get to me. In the end, his numbers will be fine. He's actually on pace to strike out less than he has in the last five years; however, my complaint revolves around one statistic in particular: double plays. Derek has grounded into 16 of these bad boys so far in 2008, leading the team. In the last week alone, I've seen him hit into three, each time with a runner in scoring position. This type of inning-killing, out-creating must stop in order for the Yankees to succeed.
Jorge Posada. Damn you, sir, and your shoulder muscle tear. What frustrates me about Posada, besides the massive contract that looks like it will serve as a pre-pension pension by the time these four years are up, is the diva-like attitude that Jorge adopted, all the while knowing that his shoulder was shot. He complained about not wanting to play first; that he was a catcher and wanted to catch (goddamit!); that it was unfair to say he could no longer make the throw to second. A week later, he's riding the pine and deciding when (not if) to have his surgery. Thanks for holding us up for a good two months, Jorge. Much obliged.
Mariano Rivera: I know. Blasphemy. But, seriously, Mo, is the excitement of a save opportunity the only thing that gets you going? Rivera has given up runs in only seven (!) appearances this year, yet six (!) of those appearances have been non-save situations (with the Yankees either tied or trailing). The most recent example has occurred as I type this very complaint, as Mo has given up a "garbage time" homerun against the Orioles that has ended up being the game loser, as the Yankees have executed one of their patented "Holy-Shit-It's-The-9th-Inning-Let's- Take-Our-At-Bats-Seriously" comebacks. Michael Kay likes to insist that Rivera is having his best year ever. Trust me...he's not.
Xavier Nady / Damaso Marte. They really haven't done anything badly. But they will! Oh, yes, they will.
And The Madman will be watching.
_
Monday, July 21, 2008
Seriously, Dude? Come On. Seriously?
Let's use our imaginations for a second.
You're Alex Rodriguez.
With a runner on first in the 9th inning of a tight game -- a game that, if won, will give your team a sweep of the Wild Card-contending Oakland A's -- you are heads-up enough to back-up Derek Jeter on an errant throw from Bobby Abreu after the aforementioned right fielder has already dropped a routine fly ball. In backing-up the shortstop, you are able to flip the ball back to Jeter and force out the runner (who had initially retreated to first base, thinking the ball would be caught). For all intents and purposes, by being alert and defensively intelligent, you have saved the game and contributed to pulling your team back into striking distance of the division lead.
You wake up this morning and pick up the NY Daily News, fully expecting to find out that you're still banging Madonna, but believing that you will be celebrated for your "heads-upness."
Instead, you read this, by Mark Lelinwalla:
"Alex Rodriguez did his best Derek Jeter impersonation Sunday with a flip play to help the Yankees beat the Oakland A's.
_
You're Alex Rodriguez.
With a runner on first in the 9th inning of a tight game -- a game that, if won, will give your team a sweep of the Wild Card-contending Oakland A's -- you are heads-up enough to back-up Derek Jeter on an errant throw from Bobby Abreu after the aforementioned right fielder has already dropped a routine fly ball. In backing-up the shortstop, you are able to flip the ball back to Jeter and force out the runner (who had initially retreated to first base, thinking the ball would be caught). For all intents and purposes, by being alert and defensively intelligent, you have saved the game and contributed to pulling your team back into striking distance of the division lead.
You wake up this morning and pick up the NY Daily News, fully expecting to find out that you're still banging Madonna, but believing that you will be celebrated for your "heads-upness."
Instead, you read this, by Mark Lelinwalla:
"Alex Rodriguez did his best Derek Jeter impersonation Sunday with a flip play to help the Yankees beat the Oakland A's.
Of course, Jeter's came in a playoff game while A-Rod helped seal an otherwise routine July triumph."
_
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