When John Sterling Thinks You Suck, You Must Really Suck

The Yankees are spiraling out of control, and you need not actually watch a game to understand that this is true. All you need to do is listen.

Normally, on the radio side of things, John Sterling views the Yanks with the proverbial rose-colored glasses. When things go well, it's due to the perfection of the pinstripes; when things go awry, well, "you just can't figure this game out." On the flipside (the TV side), Michael Kay likes to avoid any genuine criticism of the Bombers for fear of offending sensitive YES Network ears (i.e., the suits that sign his checks).

To listen to both of these yakkers in the last two days is to listen to two "glass half-full" voices that are ready to simply smash said glass against the floor.

Yesterday, in the midst of what would become yet another crushing loss, Sterling took the Yankees to task for repeatedly failing to get runners in from third with less than two outs. With no clever homerun calls on the horizon, and seemingly at his wit's end, The Voice literally counted-up the missed opportunities, conjecturing that, had the Yankees shown any ability with RISP throughout the year, the team would not only be winning this game, but would be atop their division. Tough talk from a dude that spends 75% of his air time repeating the word "amazing."

Meanwhile, Michael Kay, during tonight's Yanks/Twins game, became nearly apoplectic as the boys (yet again) failed to drive-in a runner from third (this time with no one out). "Un-be-lievable" enunciated Kay as Melky Cabrera grounded into a routine double play to end the inning. He then spent the better part of the next half-inning theorizing on just how an entire lineup could fail so miserably, so often, in trying to complete a simple task.

While these examples may not seem earth-shatteringly critical, the simple fact that they were uttered at all (by these two, no less) is proof positive that the organization is in full-fledged panic mode. And, really, who can blame them?
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RIP, Bobby

Very sad to hear about the passing of Bobby Murcer. I won't turn this into a long-winded eulogy, especially considering not many people will come across this post, but I just thought a few words were in order.

Bobby Murcer seemed like a genuinely good guy. In a broadcasting world where dull, saccharine analysis is the norm, Murcer gave a game life. His observations were enthusiastic, spontaneous, and even comically bizarre (I believed for years that Bobby had taken a few nips of the flask before stepping into the booth). He always carried a childlike quality that reminded us that this was only a game; a wonderfully exciting and special game.

The reaction of those who knew him to the news only furthers the widely held belief that Murcer was the real deal. I watched (and listened) today as both Joe Girardi and radio voice John Sterling wept openly after being told of his passing. While many thoughtful memories have been and will be shared, hearing these voices crack left me believing in the goodness of Bobby.

And, while I never watched him play (or, at least, can't remember watching him play) I still get emotional watching a replay of Murcer slash that game-winning single against the Orioles on the day that his best friend, Thurman Munson, was laid to rest.
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The Professor and The Madman Welcomes The Madman

As the 2008 season progresses and all of you (all 10's of you currently reading "Piss and Wynegar") get to know me, Pasqua, and my colleague, Maas, one thing will become readily apparent: I'm insane.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am a rather rabid Yankees fan, despite a relatively kind and unassuming (and, admittedly, ruggedly handsome) exterior. I am the Bruce Banner of Yankees fans. Case and point: when the Yankees lose there is a part of me that actually believes that they have done so with the sole intention of spiting me. And that's not healthy.

Maas, on the other hand, is a gentleman and a scholar. I only know him to have thrown a chair in anger over a sporting event once, and I think that event was a New York Giants loss. His perspective is less, shall we say, unstable.

So, while we're both passionate and (hopefully, you'll agree) knowledgeable about the Bombers, we are, indeed, "The Professor and The Madman."

Now, with that off of my chest, I shall continue. From time to time, Maas and I will post our "observations" regarding the state of the team. Four games into the season, and with a .500 record secured, I will begin. Forgive the Larry King-style commentary:

1. Despite the 5 month absence of baseball, I feel like I'm watching these games in July. Maybe it's the lack of hitting, or Mike Mussina's horribleness, but the whole feel to the start of this season is rather blah.

2. Holy shit do Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui look old.

3. I think it's adorable that the Yankees signed LaTroy Hawkins to make Kyle Farnsworth feel better about himself. Everybody needs a buddy.

4. Are we going to ask Joe Girardi how he feel about his ____ win every time he wins? "Joe, does the seventy-second win feel as good as the first win? How does it compare?"

5. I am alarmed by the fact that the best defense on the team is being played by Jason Giambi. It makes me believe that there is a rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum.

6. Base coaches' helmets = machismo.

7. Why I Love Yankees' Fans, Installment #1: As LaTroy Hawkins was in the midst of surrendering 6 runs to the Rays in 2/3 an inning of work, the crowd began to chant "Paul O'Neill!" at him, referencing the fact that Hawkins is the first player to wear #21 since O'Neill retired, and that he has already soiled the sanctity of the jersey.

8. Why I Hate John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, Installment #1: Waldman, on air, asks NY Daily News writer Anthony McCarron, "What did you think of Ian Kennedy tonight, despite the fact that he was getting squeezed on the corners?" Kennedy's line on 4/4: 2.1 IP, 6 ER, 4 H, 4 BB, 2 K). Why even answer the question, Suzyn? It's quite obvious Ian got squeezed to the tune of 6 earned runs.

9. This is, I'm sure, too cynical, but it's unbelievably frustrating to me that Jorge Posada plays out of his mind in his contract year without so much as a head cold, gets his 4-year, $60 million deal, and is out with a sore shoulder after one game.

10. Joba Chamberlain is awesome to watch, but kind of a dick, and he will get one of his teammates maimed or killed this year. He will battle-cry-fist-pump his way to a fastball to the back of A-Rod's head.

Okay...there you have it. Mild commentary for now. But the season is young, and I am a sick, sick man.
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