It's A Trap!

Can't help but start to think that C.C. Sabathia is leading the Yankees into very dangerous territory and has no qualms about leaving the one team to offer him endless supplies of cash with no rotation to speak of.

At first, I had no problem with C.C. taking his time. "Hey," I rationalized, " If the dude wants to pitcher here, he'll pitch here. If he doesn't, he'll sign somewhere else. He's going to set the market, so even if he bails, the Yanks will still have plenty of options."

Well, the operative part of that thought was, "He'll sign somewhere." Nearly one month after receiving the offer from Cashman & Co., C.C. is silent as a mouse. What's worse is the fact that there are rumblings of other players (like A.J. Burnett and Mark Tex) getting ready to make decisions about their respective futures. So, C.C.'s lack of action and the potential-action of others, has finally put the Yankees in a very unstable situation.

That being said, it's time for Brian "Akbar" Cashman to go on the offensive: set a deadline and prepare to pull the offer to Sabathia.

You know what? Fuck 'em. If C.C. wants to play on the West Coast, more power to him, but the Yankees cannot wait around and let that Death Star of a waistband take us down with him. If the Bombers pull their offer from the table, C.C. will undoubtedly get his wish of where to play, but at a helluva lot less moolah. Sounds fair to me. He'll have to pay a restocking fee for his procrastination, but he'll have what he wants.

On the other hand, a Yankee-imposed deadline could freak the guy out and make him jump to the dotted line, like a splash of cold water to the face. Sabathia can't be waiting for the Yankees to up their offer because, frankly, nobody is going to match it. If it's money he wants, it's money we have, and it's money he shall share. So, what's the hold up? Stop letting him dictate. Essentially, a deadline will force Sabathia to reconcile his true desire: geography, or money. In his heart of hearts, I'm sure he knows which wins.

Regardless, though, if Cashman forces everybody's hand in this stalemate, one thing (at least) is certain: the Yankees won't be totally screwed at the end of it...and, really, that's all we good people of New York care about.

We will not fight you, C.C. There's still good in you. We can feel it.

But, seriously, make up your fucking mind.
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He Who Must Not Be Named

Something wicked this way comes.

With Dan Giese now headed to the DL, the Yankees are suddenly in need of a 4th starter.

Rumblings have grown into whispers, and whispers (I fear) will soon turn to chilled cries of horror.

Carl Pavano may be ready to return to The Bronx.

If this misfortune is due to befall us, it is understandable. The Connecticut Kid's contract is coming off of the books and the Yankees might certainly want to squeeze some "production" out of their prized, walking infirmary. What's more, when your other pitching option is Phil Hughes, the (former?) crown jewel of prospects, it seems logical that Pavano becomes the guy you rush. What does Brian Cashman care if Pavano is not quite "there"? Get on the mound, dipshit.

So, on the ever-more-realistic chance that Carl makes it back to the Bigs (without incident), here are the possible outcomes, as I see them.

Please choose one of the following:

A) Carl Pavano returns and is abysmal; the Yankees miss the playoffs, and Carl rides, ever-so-quietly, into the sunset, never to be heard from again.

B) Carl Pavano returns and is astoundingly good; the Yankees ride to a world championship on Carl's fragile back; Carl is rewarded by Brian Cashman (whose job has been saved) with a new contract and his career is reborn.

C) Carl Pavano returns and removes himself from his first start in the 3rd inning, citing an unspecified "soreness" that no medical test can confirm or locate; Carl is never heard from again.

D) Car Pavano returns and pitches with a Darrell Rasner-esque mediocrity; the Yankees miss the playoffs, but Carl's performance is just passable enough to warrant a $1 million, incentive-laden, 1-year contract from...let's say...the St. Louis Cardinals.

Personally, I'll vote "D," not only because it's baseball economics at its finest, but because Pavano's stealing money from the Yankees for four years and then parlaying that theft into yet another contract feels like the appropriate way for this whole disaster to end.

Thoughts? Alternative (more infuriating) scenarios?
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To The Contrary, Sign Sexson

Many, many, many Yankees fans and bloggers (and media personalities, and scouts, and omnipresent "sources") have railed against the idea of bringing Richie Sexson to The Bronx for the remainder of the season. No one wants anything to do with this "loser" for whom "the Yankees have no need," to borrow a couple of remarks from other commentaries.

However, if I may be so bold (and I may cuz it's my site), this is actually shortsighted resignation on the part of the fans. Let me explain:

First of all, Sexson will play for the league minimum wherever he lands, as Seattle is still on the hook for the remainder of his $15,500,000 salary in 2008 (gulp).

Secondly, to say that the Yankees have no need for a right-handed bat is lunacy. All of their power, with the exception of A-Rod, comes from the left side. Furthermore, at this point, two of those left-handed hitters are on the shelf (Matsui and Damon). Tell me, are you truly comfortable with the menacing presence of Jose Molina, Wilson Betemit, righty-Melky, and an occasional appearance by Justin "God-Fearing" Christian?

No, neither am I. So, please don't tell me that Sexson has no roll. He's an acutal first baseman, with a career Fielding % of .994 (which is more than can be said for Betemit, Jorge Posada, and -- let's face it -- Jason Giambi), and he's a right-handed hitter who, when he connects, hits the ball a long friggin' way. All of these things are currently lacking in Yankees Universe.

And lastly -- and here's where I blow your mind -- for all of Sexson's shittiness this year, he's been insanely good against left-handed pitching. Please observe:

vs. Lefties (in 61 AB): .344 BA / .423 OBP / .623 SLG / 1.046 OPS

Yowzas! Not bad for a dude who just got cut by one of the worst teams in baseball.

Of course, against righties, Sexson is atrocious (.178 / .281 / .304 / .585), but the point here is that the Yankees won't ever, ever, ever need to use him against right-handed pitching! He will play solely against lefties and leave the righties to face the overstocked, lefty-hitting 1B contingent. And, his role as glorified bench player will be made completely palatable by the fact the Mariners are picking up the tab.

So, bring on Richie Sexson for all the reasons stated above.

Those, and the fact that he's got "Sex" in his name, making our job as bloggers much, much easier.
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