Carl Pavano, obviously speaking from an undisclosed location:
"When you're down, you expect your organization to pick you up, not kick you when you're down. I've had to pick myself up quite a few times the last four years."
[Deep breath.]
So, Carl. Can I call you Carl? Are you suggesting that you weren't supported by the Yankees over the course of your four pathetic, embarrassing, and borderline criminal years in pinstripes?
[Deeper breath.]
Let me just say this. One of the ways I rationalized the debacle that was "Carl Pavano: Yankee" was by believing that he, at the very least, felt badly for his inability to stay healthy; that when he was cashing his paychecks, he did so with a twinge of guilt and discomfort (in an area other than his shoulder, elbow or ass, mind you).
Now, it is apparent that the only person Carl felt badly for was himself. And that, dear reader, is so, so, so incredibly pathetic.
[Exhale.]
_
Friday, January 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
On Money and Teixeira
When the news came down this afternoon that the Yankees had stolen Mark Teixeira away from those poor old Red Sox (who, really, just can't seem to catch a break, poor kids) my first thought was, "How am I going to deal with the onslaught of bile coming out of the mouths of my Yankee-hating friends and colleagues?"
In truth, picking up Tex for $180 million does, on the surface, appear to solidify the Yankees' status as an embarrassment of riches. I can understand the frustration that fans of other teams are feeling. Cashman and Co. have gone on a spending spree that surprises even most Bomber fans, let alone Bomber bashers; however, in thinking about it this evening I've decided to adopt a harsh, yet sincere mantra: If you don't like it, too bad. Deal with it.
Now, believe me, I do not say this to sound obnoxious (even though it does). Nor do I say it to be antagonistic, or generally arrogant. I say it because I am tired of every fan blaming the Yankees for their team's shortcomings. I am tired of having to defend a team who, more than any other organization in sport, puts its profits back into its product. Consider that for a moment. Can you think of any business (and, yes, folks, it's a business, as entertaining and heart-wrenching as it is) that actually gets ridiculed for catering to its client and working on his behalf? Let me answer: No. No, you do not.
As ridiculous as it may sound, the Yankees are actually victimized by their desire to create a profitable and competitive product. They are victimized by the fact that they represent the "visible evil"; the team that spends an immense amount of money, calls the boring press conferences, and shows up in every sport tabloid no matter what the rumor. Their spending is tangible and apparent.
On the flipside of that coin are all of the teams whose ownership winces and whines over every dollar that they are forced to shell out to their talent. Please spare me the sob story of the "small market team" that can't afford to compete. An owner, whether he is in Kansas City or New York, is going to be a multi-millionaire with his hand in a multitude of industries, all of which have made him rich beyond compare (richer, even, than the Steinbrenners). Where is the outcry when these "small market" owners quietly refuse to do their due diligence and spend money for the benefit of their organization and their fans? Where is the complaint when these same owners pocket their cut of revenue sharing instead of investing it in the team, which was the intent of revenue sharing in the first place? Answer: You don't see it, because the actions on the part of these owners is not tangible; not apparent. Theirs is the "invisible evil," and no one gets upset about what they cannot see.
So, really, who is doing more damage to baseball? If nothing else, the Yankees are a model for how to turn a game into a legacy (of performance and profit). Dare I say it? Maybe others should be taking pointers, instead of pointing fingers.
I'll close with an analogy, and see if it makes sense (I'm not sure it does, but here goes): You have a child, and that child is fortunate enough to build a small fortune through his/her work; more money than anyone in your neighborhood. When your child, then, decides to build a giant house for himself in the middle of the neighborhood, are you going to tell the child, "You can't build that house. Nobody else in the neighborhood has a house that big, so you shouldn't either. Even though your work has enabled you to afford the house, it just wouldn't be fair to everybody else if you built it. Why don't you just buy a small house and keep that fortune hidden away."
Something tells me that wouldn't be your angle.
The Yankees have built their house. They've (literally) earned that right. Deal with it.
_
In truth, picking up Tex for $180 million does, on the surface, appear to solidify the Yankees' status as an embarrassment of riches. I can understand the frustration that fans of other teams are feeling. Cashman and Co. have gone on a spending spree that surprises even most Bomber fans, let alone Bomber bashers; however, in thinking about it this evening I've decided to adopt a harsh, yet sincere mantra: If you don't like it, too bad. Deal with it.
Now, believe me, I do not say this to sound obnoxious (even though it does). Nor do I say it to be antagonistic, or generally arrogant. I say it because I am tired of every fan blaming the Yankees for their team's shortcomings. I am tired of having to defend a team who, more than any other organization in sport, puts its profits back into its product. Consider that for a moment. Can you think of any business (and, yes, folks, it's a business, as entertaining and heart-wrenching as it is) that actually gets ridiculed for catering to its client and working on his behalf? Let me answer: No. No, you do not.
As ridiculous as it may sound, the Yankees are actually victimized by their desire to create a profitable and competitive product. They are victimized by the fact that they represent the "visible evil"; the team that spends an immense amount of money, calls the boring press conferences, and shows up in every sport tabloid no matter what the rumor. Their spending is tangible and apparent.
On the flipside of that coin are all of the teams whose ownership winces and whines over every dollar that they are forced to shell out to their talent. Please spare me the sob story of the "small market team" that can't afford to compete. An owner, whether he is in Kansas City or New York, is going to be a multi-millionaire with his hand in a multitude of industries, all of which have made him rich beyond compare (richer, even, than the Steinbrenners). Where is the outcry when these "small market" owners quietly refuse to do their due diligence and spend money for the benefit of their organization and their fans? Where is the complaint when these same owners pocket their cut of revenue sharing instead of investing it in the team, which was the intent of revenue sharing in the first place? Answer: You don't see it, because the actions on the part of these owners is not tangible; not apparent. Theirs is the "invisible evil," and no one gets upset about what they cannot see.
So, really, who is doing more damage to baseball? If nothing else, the Yankees are a model for how to turn a game into a legacy (of performance and profit). Dare I say it? Maybe others should be taking pointers, instead of pointing fingers.
I'll close with an analogy, and see if it makes sense (I'm not sure it does, but here goes): You have a child, and that child is fortunate enough to build a small fortune through his/her work; more money than anyone in your neighborhood. When your child, then, decides to build a giant house for himself in the middle of the neighborhood, are you going to tell the child, "You can't build that house. Nobody else in the neighborhood has a house that big, so you shouldn't either. Even though your work has enabled you to afford the house, it just wouldn't be fair to everybody else if you built it. Why don't you just buy a small house and keep that fortune hidden away."
Something tells me that wouldn't be your angle.
The Yankees have built their house. They've (literally) earned that right. Deal with it.
_
Sunday, December 7, 2008
It's A Trap!
Can't help but start to think that C.C. Sabathia is leading the Yankees into very dangerous territory and has no qualms about leaving the one team to offer him endless supplies of cash with no rotation to speak of.
At first, I had no problem with C.C. taking his time. "Hey," I rationalized, " If the dude wants to pitcher here, he'll pitch here. If he doesn't, he'll sign somewhere else. He's going to set the market, so even if he bails, the Yanks will still have plenty of options."
Well, the operative part of that thought was, "He'll sign somewhere." Nearly one month after receiving the offer from Cashman & Co., C.C. is silent as a mouse. What's worse is the fact that there are rumblings of other players (like A.J. Burnett and Mark Tex) getting ready to make decisions about their respective futures. So, C.C.'s lack of action and the potential-action of others, has finally put the Yankees in a very unstable situation.
That being said, it's time for Brian "Akbar" Cashman to go on the offensive: set a deadline and prepare to pull the offer to Sabathia.
You know what? Fuck 'em. If C.C. wants to play on the West Coast, more power to him, but the Yankees cannot wait around and let that Death Star of a waistband take us down with him. If the Bombers pull their offer from the table, C.C. will undoubtedly get his wish of where to play, but at a helluva lot less moolah. Sounds fair to me. He'll have to pay a restocking fee for his procrastination, but he'll have what he wants.
On the other hand, a Yankee-imposed deadline could freak the guy out and make him jump to the dotted line, like a splash of cold water to the face. Sabathia can't be waiting for the Yankees to up their offer because, frankly, nobody is going to match it. If it's money he wants, it's money we have, and it's money he shall share. So, what's the hold up? Stop letting him dictate. Essentially, a deadline will force Sabathia to reconcile his true desire: geography, or money. In his heart of hearts, I'm sure he knows which wins.
Regardless, though, if Cashman forces everybody's hand in this stalemate, one thing (at least) is certain: the Yankees won't be totally screwed at the end of it...and, really, that's all we good people of New York care about.
We will not fight you, C.C. There's still good in you. We can feel it.
But, seriously, make up your fucking mind.
_
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Skippy, You're Dominican
In a shocking turn of events, Alex Rodriguez has decided to be Dominican before CC Sabathia has decided to be a Yankee.
I hope nobody had any money on that over/under.
Truly, only ARod could mess up this non-momentous, non-event twice. In the winter of 2006, I recall sitting on the edge of my seat, losing sleep, waiting to find out if our hero would don the uniform of the stars n' stripes for the WBC or honor his Dominican heritage and play for the good ol' D.R. It was a decision Alex ended up making no less than three different times, and in doing so, somehow (as he always does) managed to make himself look like a total ass. And now, in 2008, while he has made his definitive intentions known, he throws this gem into the mix:
“This time, there will be no doubts and it is a dream of my mom’s that I intend to fulfill.”
Ah, "the dream." Oh, how long ARod's mother has yearned to see her son compete for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. Of course, by now we've all heard the now-legendary stories of Mrs. Rod sitting a bright-eyed, tee-ball-aged Alex on her lap and extolling the virtues of playing for the Dominican in a fabricated, money-generating farce of a baseball competition that wouldn't be invented for thirty years.
Well, Mrs. Rod, today your baby boy honors your dream.
And by "honors your dream" I mean, "Uses you so as not to look like a fickle, self-conscious tool."
EDIT: While revisiting the MLB.com article linked in this post, I happened to notice the caption under the picture of ARod. It reads, " 'It will be a very special day for me and my family to see me play again with a Dominican uniform,' said U.S.-born Alex Rodriguez, who claims dual citizenship. " Nicely placed passive-aggressive insult there, MLB. Kudos to you.
_
I hope nobody had any money on that over/under.
Truly, only ARod could mess up this non-momentous, non-event twice. In the winter of 2006, I recall sitting on the edge of my seat, losing sleep, waiting to find out if our hero would don the uniform of the stars n' stripes for the WBC or honor his Dominican heritage and play for the good ol' D.R. It was a decision Alex ended up making no less than three different times, and in doing so, somehow (as he always does) managed to make himself look like a total ass. And now, in 2008, while he has made his definitive intentions known, he throws this gem into the mix:
“This time, there will be no doubts and it is a dream of my mom’s that I intend to fulfill.”
Ah, "the dream." Oh, how long ARod's mother has yearned to see her son compete for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. Of course, by now we've all heard the now-legendary stories of Mrs. Rod sitting a bright-eyed, tee-ball-aged Alex on her lap and extolling the virtues of playing for the Dominican in a fabricated, money-generating farce of a baseball competition that wouldn't be invented for thirty years.
Well, Mrs. Rod, today your baby boy honors your dream.
And by "honors your dream" I mean, "Uses you so as not to look like a fickle, self-conscious tool."
EDIT: While revisiting the MLB.com article linked in this post, I happened to notice the caption under the picture of ARod. It reads, " 'It will be a very special day for me and my family to see me play again with a Dominican uniform,' said U.S.-born Alex Rodriguez, who claims dual citizenship. " Nicely placed passive-aggressive insult there, MLB. Kudos to you.
_
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Andy, Don't Go Away Mad...
...just go away.
Here's a little excerpt from an article by FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal:
First, let me acknowledge that I understand that this is likely just a writer stirring something up to make a very, very dull couple of weeks more interesting. It's all part of the baseball media's smoke and mirrors act, in which "gut feeling" is disguised as "analysis," I know.
But something about those lines struck a chord in me, and I simply feel the need to comment.
If Andy Pettitte truly doesn't feel "wanted," will somebody please remind him to not let the proverbial door hit him on his proverbial ass on the way out of proverbial town? (Scratch that last "proverbial.") Honestly, somewhere in the dark recesses of his God-fearing soul, could Andy Pettitte actually be annoyed that the Yankees are taking a laisez-faire attitude toward resigning him? Please, Ken Rosenthal. Please tell me you're just pulling this out of your ass. (That's rhetorical, Ken. I'm sure you are.)
But let's play along for a minute. It would be the absolute height of ridiculousness if one fiber of Pettitte's being is currently feeling sorry for himself. While Andy has been a big part of the last decade-and-a-half, this is the same man that, conveniently, accepted $16 million from the Yanks last season, just a few short days before the Mitchell Report was released, is it not? Bet the big guy wasn't feeling too unwanted at the moment he realized he was about to become a baseball pariah, huh? Do you think Andy told Brian Cashman, as he picked up that pen and prepared to sign on the dotted line, "Oh, Bri-Bri. Next week I'm going to admit to doing steroids. Is that cool?"
Andy, your ass better feel all-sorts of "wanted" next year. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you constantly look the stadium in fear of bounty hunters. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you ride a steel horse to the park each day. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you insist your baseball card photo consist of a front-facing photo and a profile shot...in black and fucking white.
You owe us one.
_
Here's a little excerpt from an article by FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal:
Mike Mussina has retired, and the Yankees could lose Andy Pettitte, too.
Don't believe it?Pettitte, 36, has spoken more than once with his former manager, Joe Torre, about joining the Dodgers, according to major-league sources.
And, lest anyone forget, Pettitte has a history of changing teams as a free agent when he does not feel completely wanted.
First, let me acknowledge that I understand that this is likely just a writer stirring something up to make a very, very dull couple of weeks more interesting. It's all part of the baseball media's smoke and mirrors act, in which "gut feeling" is disguised as "analysis," I know.
But something about those lines struck a chord in me, and I simply feel the need to comment.
If Andy Pettitte truly doesn't feel "wanted," will somebody please remind him to not let the proverbial door hit him on his proverbial ass on the way out of proverbial town? (Scratch that last "proverbial.") Honestly, somewhere in the dark recesses of his God-fearing soul, could Andy Pettitte actually be annoyed that the Yankees are taking a laisez-faire attitude toward resigning him? Please, Ken Rosenthal. Please tell me you're just pulling this out of your ass. (That's rhetorical, Ken. I'm sure you are.)
But let's play along for a minute. It would be the absolute height of ridiculousness if one fiber of Pettitte's being is currently feeling sorry for himself. While Andy has been a big part of the last decade-and-a-half, this is the same man that, conveniently, accepted $16 million from the Yanks last season, just a few short days before the Mitchell Report was released, is it not? Bet the big guy wasn't feeling too unwanted at the moment he realized he was about to become a baseball pariah, huh? Do you think Andy told Brian Cashman, as he picked up that pen and prepared to sign on the dotted line, "Oh, Bri-Bri. Next week I'm going to admit to doing steroids. Is that cool?"
Andy, your ass better feel all-sorts of "wanted" next year. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you constantly look the stadium in fear of bounty hunters. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you ride a steel horse to the park each day. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you insist your baseball card photo consist of a front-facing photo and a profile shot...in black and fucking white.
You owe us one.
_
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hope CC Doesn't Read the Paper
Leave it to the New York media to find smoke where there is no fire. With the ascension of Hal "The Chemically Balanced One" Steinbrenner to the Yankees throne, it took beat reporters one day to try and turn Boss II into his father.
When Hal remarked (off-handedly, on his way out of a meeting, mind you) that the timetable on the Yankees' ridiculously lucrative offer to CC Sabathia is "not indefinite," reporters decided to make it a scandal. Today's NY Daily News, for instance, grandly pronounces on its cover that Hal has ordered Sabathia to "make up his mind." Other news sources have echoed the sentiment, somehow confusing a bland (and obvious) comment with a stern mandate.
Of course the goddamned offer isn't indefinite. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, it is most surely temporary, if only because it will probably be taken off the table so that the Yanks can offer the big boy even more money when a West Coast team gets in on the bidding.
In any event, the reaction to this non-story got me thinking...imagine if the media treated every mundane remark with the same hyperbolic frenzy:
*"Incredulous McDonald's Employee Insists That Fries Be Considered"
*"Pessimistic Weatherman Refers to Mostly Sunny Day as Partly Cloudy"
*"Cop Orders Suspect to Put Hands on Head; Does Not Say 'Please'"
*"Dentist's Patient Spits While in Chair"
*"Barack Obama Taxes Wealthy; Establishes Socialist Government"
That last one is too ridiculous to even imagine being printed.
In other news: Hey, did you know Mike Mussina retired? Did you know he's a borderline Hall of Famer? Did you know he likes crossword puzzles? Did you know he knew he would retire before this season even began? Did you know he won 20 games for the first time in 2008? Did you know he was kind of a dick to the reporters who are now celebrating him as "his own man"? Did you know he was so bad in 2007 that he lost his spot in the rotation but that everyone has conveniently forgotten that because it tarnishes a "feel good" story?
I sure didn't know all that. I'm glad every reporter on the planet has filled me in over the last 24 hours.
Oh, wait. I did know all that. Wow. I've wasted a lot of time today.
_
When Hal remarked (off-handedly, on his way out of a meeting, mind you) that the timetable on the Yankees' ridiculously lucrative offer to CC Sabathia is "not indefinite," reporters decided to make it a scandal. Today's NY Daily News, for instance, grandly pronounces on its cover that Hal has ordered Sabathia to "make up his mind." Other news sources have echoed the sentiment, somehow confusing a bland (and obvious) comment with a stern mandate.
Of course the goddamned offer isn't indefinite. As a colleague of mine pointed out today, it is most surely temporary, if only because it will probably be taken off the table so that the Yanks can offer the big boy even more money when a West Coast team gets in on the bidding.
In any event, the reaction to this non-story got me thinking...imagine if the media treated every mundane remark with the same hyperbolic frenzy:
*"Incredulous McDonald's Employee Insists That Fries Be Considered"
*"Pessimistic Weatherman Refers to Mostly Sunny Day as Partly Cloudy"
*"Cop Orders Suspect to Put Hands on Head; Does Not Say 'Please'"
*"Dentist's Patient Spits While in Chair"
*"Barack Obama Taxes Wealthy; Establishes Socialist Government"
That last one is too ridiculous to even imagine being printed.
In other news: Hey, did you know Mike Mussina retired? Did you know he's a borderline Hall of Famer? Did you know he likes crossword puzzles? Did you know he knew he would retire before this season even began? Did you know he won 20 games for the first time in 2008? Did you know he was kind of a dick to the reporters who are now celebrating him as "his own man"? Did you know he was so bad in 2007 that he lost his spot in the rotation but that everyone has conveniently forgotten that because it tarnishes a "feel good" story?
I sure didn't know all that. I'm glad every reporter on the planet has filled me in over the last 24 hours.
Oh, wait. I did know all that. Wow. I've wasted a lot of time today.
_
Friday, November 14, 2008
Good Night, Sweet Prince(s)
We suppose it was inevitable. We imagine that we should have seen it coming. We know that all good things must come to an end. But, to quote the Princeton Tigers manager Scott Bradley, after being hit in the chest with a line drive during fielding practice, "Why does it hurt so bad?"
Fire Joe Morgan is no more, and the world is, simply, a darker place for it.
We became avid, voracious readers of FJM three solid years ago. Maas was the one who pointed me in its direction, and I remember my early encounters with the blog as vividly as I do the first dates enjoyed with my now-wife (the main difference being that, thankfully, the boys at FJM posted virtually every day and I didn't have to wait until the weekend and drive three + hours, to the Berkshires, to enjoy their company).
Once, I was lucky enough to earn a sacred "hat tip." It was Opening Day of the 2006 season (Monday, April 3 to be exact). On this day, the esteemed John Kruk (of Baseball Tonight fame) pronounced that the Red Sox would win the AL East; however, only one day earlier, the same venerable Mr. Kruk had predicted the Yankees would win 130 games. I quickly emailed Junior to point out that Kruk, in his own special and boneheaded way, had just bequeathed 130 + wins on the Sawx.
I knew it was a good tidbit. It was right up their alley; another talking head had mindlessly spouted-off a painfully unsubstantiated thought and attempted to pass it off as "insight." He needed to be stopped. Sure enough, within hours, I was immortalized. FJM had deemed my remark "analysis worthy of scorn" and seen fit to add it to the lore and semi-retardedness of John Kruk. To this day, I wear it as a badge of honor.
In the years that followed, I merely took pleasure in visiting the site daily, knowing that the boys were doing righteous and necessary work on behalf of a baseball-loving public that was, on average, 73 1/2 times more intelligent than virtually everyone writing about, or talking about, sports for a living.
In the winter of 2008, when we began this little blog that absolutely no one reads, we recognized that we had two choices, though they were never spoken aloud: 1. Be bad and uninformed enough in our analysis to warrant being lambasted by FJM, or; 2. Copy them.
We chose the latter, and Piss and Wynegar is forever grateful.
When, slowly but surely, the posts at Fire Joe Morgan became more and more infrequent (that is to say, when Ken Tremendous was the only one actually contributing), the writing was on the wall (or, blog...but it wasn't...that's the point) and I was alarmed. Where were the food metaphors? How was I to know if Darin Erstad was feeling particularly gritty and gamer-ish on a given day? Why was Bill Fremp being let off the hook? Fuck the heck?!
Interestingly (and appropriately), however, when I realized that we were actually posting more often than FJM, my alarm quickly and gently transformed into peaceful acceptance.
Their work was done.
Be fruitful, and multiply, Ken, Junior, Dak, Murbles, and Coach. And thank you. It's okay to let go now.
It's okay to let go.
_
Fire Joe Morgan is no more, and the world is, simply, a darker place for it.
We became avid, voracious readers of FJM three solid years ago. Maas was the one who pointed me in its direction, and I remember my early encounters with the blog as vividly as I do the first dates enjoyed with my now-wife (the main difference being that, thankfully, the boys at FJM posted virtually every day and I didn't have to wait until the weekend and drive three + hours, to the Berkshires, to enjoy their company).
Once, I was lucky enough to earn a sacred "hat tip." It was Opening Day of the 2006 season (Monday, April 3 to be exact). On this day, the esteemed John Kruk (of Baseball Tonight fame) pronounced that the Red Sox would win the AL East; however, only one day earlier, the same venerable Mr. Kruk had predicted the Yankees would win 130 games. I quickly emailed Junior to point out that Kruk, in his own special and boneheaded way, had just bequeathed 130 + wins on the Sawx.
I knew it was a good tidbit. It was right up their alley; another talking head had mindlessly spouted-off a painfully unsubstantiated thought and attempted to pass it off as "insight." He needed to be stopped. Sure enough, within hours, I was immortalized. FJM had deemed my remark "analysis worthy of scorn" and seen fit to add it to the lore and semi-retardedness of John Kruk. To this day, I wear it as a badge of honor.
In the years that followed, I merely took pleasure in visiting the site daily, knowing that the boys were doing righteous and necessary work on behalf of a baseball-loving public that was, on average, 73 1/2 times more intelligent than virtually everyone writing about, or talking about, sports for a living.
In the winter of 2008, when we began this little blog that absolutely no one reads, we recognized that we had two choices, though they were never spoken aloud: 1. Be bad and uninformed enough in our analysis to warrant being lambasted by FJM, or; 2. Copy them.
We chose the latter, and Piss and Wynegar is forever grateful.
When, slowly but surely, the posts at Fire Joe Morgan became more and more infrequent (that is to say, when Ken Tremendous was the only one actually contributing), the writing was on the wall (or, blog...but it wasn't...that's the point) and I was alarmed. Where were the food metaphors? How was I to know if Darin Erstad was feeling particularly gritty and gamer-ish on a given day? Why was Bill Fremp being let off the hook? Fuck the heck?!
Interestingly (and appropriately), however, when I realized that we were actually posting more often than FJM, my alarm quickly and gently transformed into peaceful acceptance.
Their work was done.
Be fruitful, and multiply, Ken, Junior, Dak, Murbles, and Coach. And thank you. It's okay to let go now.
It's okay to let go.
_
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Alert: Scott Boras Shows Compassion; Ability to See Beyond Selfish Interests
I...I just...I just don't know what to say.
Scott Boras just made sense.
Of course, it's unrelated to Jason Varitek, or baseball for that matter, but...my god.
I need to go lie down.
While speaking at the GM meetings in California, Boras reflected on the election and ruminated on the role of teachers in America: “College professors are held in high esteem and the same should be true of elementary and high school teachers...I was the beneficiary of an athletic scholarship. We should offer some of our best minds scholarships with the intent on them becoming teachers. You’re talking about the future of our children.”
_
Scott Boras just made sense.
Of course, it's unrelated to Jason Varitek, or baseball for that matter, but...my god.
I need to go lie down.
While speaking at the GM meetings in California, Boras reflected on the election and ruminated on the role of teachers in America: “College professors are held in high esteem and the same should be true of elementary and high school teachers...I was the beneficiary of an athletic scholarship. We should offer some of our best minds scholarships with the intent on them becoming teachers. You’re talking about the future of our children.”
_
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Gentlemen, Start Your Inane Ranting
When the Yankees miss the playoffs, everybody loses.
Pete Abraham (Yankees beat reporter for The Journal News) has a super-terrific blog which, unlike us, he updates a ton with Yankees news. The blog has a HUGE following, but unfortunately many of the readers are completely irrational and infuriatingly stupid. We know this because they can't help but comment on Abe's blog...a lot.
Yesterday, Abraham posted a 4-sentence story which stated, simply, that Larry Bowa was staying with the Dodgers and, thus, the Yankees would have to consider other 3B Coach options, including un-retained Brewers manager, Dale Sveum.
Here's a sampling of the 150 comments (literally) that followed this innocuous piece of information:
"Is Mike Gallejo still with the Rockies coaching staff? He’d be a good choice for 3b coach. What about Tim the Rock Raines?" First: Mike "Gallejo"? Second: Why do people just love to pick a player out of their ass and anoint them as the answer to our base coaching prayers? As if they have some inside information about the way they windmill their arms or hold up their hands as a runner rounds the bag? "Homer Bush was fast. He'd be the perfect 3B coach because he'd make them run harder towards home! We gotta get this guy!"
"[The Brewers] treated Dale Sveum very shabbily. He takes over, gets them to the playoffs and he’s not even considered for the Brewers job?" He "got them to the playoffs" by managing 12 games, over which span they played .500 ball. Is there no justice?
"Nice going Cashbum. You miss out on Bowa and then Gallego. Terrible." "Cashbum." Punny. Also, notice that this guy has bought the previous guy's comment about Gallego hook, line and sinker. Suddenly he's a hot commodity. But, really, he's got a point. How the fuck are we supposed to win a championship if Mike Gallego isn't our fucking 3B coach?!
"Torre is really out to screw his ex-team I bet he begged Bowa to stay, oh well." It's all part of that manipulative bastad's master plan.
"This off-season is turning into an utter disaster." This might be my favorite comment of all, if only for the sheer, pouty lunacy of it. It's October 24th, not a single free agent has been signed by anybody, the World Series is two games old, and an old man who maybe/sort of had a chance at coming back to coach 3B is not coming back. This, of course = disaster for Yankees.
"Might as well trade cano now." Yup. It's over, Johnny. (Let it be said that I'm only, like, 20 comments into this post. These are coming one right after another.)
"Good to see Gallejo land with the A’s. Don’t be surprised he’s the next hot managerial candidate. The man knows baseball." "Gallejo" again. This is becoming like some sort of sociology experiment, where somebody validates a pointless or non-existent "something" and, suddenly, everyone needs to have it, even though they have absolutely no idea why.
"Luis Sojo for 3B coach! He can’t coach 3rd, but he will be a voice in that clubhouse" Obama for President! He can't be President, but he can eat seafood!
"Honestly I could care less who the 3B coach is at this point." Sanity! "Bowa was the ONLY option in my opinion. Anybody else will be the lesser pick as long as it not Meacham I’m alright with it." Less and less sane and then, finally, insane.
"If you want a no nonsense guy as a 3b coach, go get Ted Yost - formers Brewer manager." This guy has so carefully weighed the pros and cons of Yost as a potential 3B coach that he has discovered Yost's first name is actually "Ted," not "Ned," as previously believed by everyone in the fucking free world.
"Letting torre go may eclipse not trading for santana as the move that dooms the franchise." See that old dude drinkin' green tea and blowing out Scott Proctor's arm every year? Johan Santana can't hold that dude's jock strap. (pause) Yes, that Johan Santana. (pause) Yes, the greatest left-handed pitcher in baseball. That one. He's got nothin' on Torre. Nothin.'
"I thought Bowa wanted to return to the East Coast to be with his family? I guess his loyalty to Torre is more important than his family." Conjecture, anyone?
"Phil [Hughes] looks mean with those glasses and sporting the goatee." If by "mean" you mean "sexy" then, hell yeah, he looks mean!
Four months 'til pitchers and catchers, people.
_
Pete Abraham (Yankees beat reporter for The Journal News) has a super-terrific blog which, unlike us, he updates a ton with Yankees news. The blog has a HUGE following, but unfortunately many of the readers are completely irrational and infuriatingly stupid. We know this because they can't help but comment on Abe's blog...a lot.
Yesterday, Abraham posted a 4-sentence story which stated, simply, that Larry Bowa was staying with the Dodgers and, thus, the Yankees would have to consider other 3B Coach options, including un-retained Brewers manager, Dale Sveum.
Here's a sampling of the 150 comments (literally) that followed this innocuous piece of information:
"Is Mike Gallejo still with the Rockies coaching staff? He’d be a good choice for 3b coach. What about Tim the Rock Raines?" First: Mike "Gallejo"? Second: Why do people just love to pick a player out of their ass and anoint them as the answer to our base coaching prayers? As if they have some inside information about the way they windmill their arms or hold up their hands as a runner rounds the bag? "Homer Bush was fast. He'd be the perfect 3B coach because he'd make them run harder towards home! We gotta get this guy!"
"[The Brewers] treated Dale Sveum very shabbily. He takes over, gets them to the playoffs and he’s not even considered for the Brewers job?" He "got them to the playoffs" by managing 12 games, over which span they played .500 ball. Is there no justice?
"Nice going Cashbum. You miss out on Bowa and then Gallego. Terrible." "Cashbum." Punny. Also, notice that this guy has bought the previous guy's comment about Gallego hook, line and sinker. Suddenly he's a hot commodity. But, really, he's got a point. How the fuck are we supposed to win a championship if Mike Gallego isn't our fucking 3B coach?!
"Torre is really out to screw his ex-team I bet he begged Bowa to stay, oh well." It's all part of that manipulative bastad's master plan.
"This off-season is turning into an utter disaster." This might be my favorite comment of all, if only for the sheer, pouty lunacy of it. It's October 24th, not a single free agent has been signed by anybody, the World Series is two games old, and an old man who maybe/sort of had a chance at coming back to coach 3B is not coming back. This, of course = disaster for Yankees.
"Might as well trade cano now." Yup. It's over, Johnny. (Let it be said that I'm only, like, 20 comments into this post. These are coming one right after another.)
"Good to see Gallejo land with the A’s. Don’t be surprised he’s the next hot managerial candidate. The man knows baseball." "Gallejo" again. This is becoming like some sort of sociology experiment, where somebody validates a pointless or non-existent "something" and, suddenly, everyone needs to have it, even though they have absolutely no idea why.
"Luis Sojo for 3B coach! He can’t coach 3rd, but he will be a voice in that clubhouse" Obama for President! He can't be President, but he can eat seafood!
"Honestly I could care less who the 3B coach is at this point." Sanity! "Bowa was the ONLY option in my opinion. Anybody else will be the lesser pick as long as it not Meacham I’m alright with it." Less and less sane and then, finally, insane.
"If you want a no nonsense guy as a 3b coach, go get Ted Yost - formers Brewer manager." This guy has so carefully weighed the pros and cons of Yost as a potential 3B coach that he has discovered Yost's first name is actually "Ted," not "Ned," as previously believed by everyone in the fucking free world.
"Letting torre go may eclipse not trading for santana as the move that dooms the franchise." See that old dude drinkin' green tea and blowing out Scott Proctor's arm every year? Johan Santana can't hold that dude's jock strap. (pause) Yes, that Johan Santana. (pause) Yes, the greatest left-handed pitcher in baseball. That one. He's got nothin' on Torre. Nothin.'
"I thought Bowa wanted to return to the East Coast to be with his family? I guess his loyalty to Torre is more important than his family." Conjecture, anyone?
"Phil [Hughes] looks mean with those glasses and sporting the goatee." If by "mean" you mean "sexy" then, hell yeah, he looks mean!
Four months 'til pitchers and catchers, people.
_
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
"Holy Shit"
I don't believe in "clutch-hitting," or "grittiness." I don't believe that teams "don't play" for managers that they don't like. I don't believe that "chemistry" has any relevance to baseball, and I don't believe that any one person can "will" a team to win.
I do, however, believe in luck. Good and bad. And I believe that luck has an overwhelming impact on the outcome of a baseball game.
The Yankees are done. Is it in part due to injuries? Sure. But every team has injuries. Is it in part due to questionable in-game decisions? Maybe. But every manager makes them. Is it in part due to several players underperforming? Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
But, after watching this baffling 2-1 loss to the Blue Jays, I am convinced that every luck-infected element of this 2008 season has gone against the Yankees.
Case and point: Johnny Damon is moved to center field in order to allow Hideki Matsui to return as the full-time DH, and so that Xavier Nady can stay in the lineup and play left field. Johnny Damon, in his first game in center, drops (okay, "misplays") two fly balls, including the game winner. In all likelihood, if Brett Gardner, or Melky Cabrera, or even Justin Christian had been patrolling the outfield, that last ball would have gotten caught. The three guys who are essentially useless, except for their speed, could have conceivably allowed us to win the game tonight. Instead, a normally reliable Damon (whose bat needed to be in there) takes an 0-3 and drops a couple in the field
Luck. Or, should I say, lack thereof.
As part of their plethora of replays, the YES Network happened to show a shot of the Blue Jays' dugout as the ball bounced off of Damon's glove. The camera focused on A.J. Burnett who -- expectedly -- dominated the Yankees again. Upon watching the drop, Burnett could be seen exclaiming, "Holy shit!"
Holy shit, indeed, sir.
_
I do, however, believe in luck. Good and bad. And I believe that luck has an overwhelming impact on the outcome of a baseball game.
The Yankees are done. Is it in part due to injuries? Sure. But every team has injuries. Is it in part due to questionable in-game decisions? Maybe. But every manager makes them. Is it in part due to several players underperforming? Oh, yes. Yes, it is.
But, after watching this baffling 2-1 loss to the Blue Jays, I am convinced that every luck-infected element of this 2008 season has gone against the Yankees.
Case and point: Johnny Damon is moved to center field in order to allow Hideki Matsui to return as the full-time DH, and so that Xavier Nady can stay in the lineup and play left field. Johnny Damon, in his first game in center, drops (okay, "misplays") two fly balls, including the game winner. In all likelihood, if Brett Gardner, or Melky Cabrera, or even Justin Christian had been patrolling the outfield, that last ball would have gotten caught. The three guys who are essentially useless, except for their speed, could have conceivably allowed us to win the game tonight. Instead, a normally reliable Damon (whose bat needed to be in there) takes an 0-3 and drops a couple in the field
Luck. Or, should I say, lack thereof.
As part of their plethora of replays, the YES Network happened to show a shot of the Blue Jays' dugout as the ball bounced off of Damon's glove. The camera focused on A.J. Burnett who -- expectedly -- dominated the Yankees again. Upon watching the drop, Burnett could be seen exclaiming, "Holy shit!"
Holy shit, indeed, sir.
_
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