Up Your Butt, Jobu

In an earlier post I made fun of Kyle Farnsworth for donning glasses in a Ricky Vaughn-like attempt to gain some control of his pitches. Now it looks like I owe Kyle an apology...because, apparently, it wasn't his idea.

That's right, folks, the Yankees have found a way to save the season!

This is spectacular news for all of us Yankee fans because it is a sure fire win. Besides the illustrious Mr. Farnsworth, many have gone on to have dominant careers after adding the fearsome specs. Like this guy. And this guy. And him.

So once Phil returns from his oblique/rib/hamstring/quad/feelings injury expect him to dominate, only to be replaced by an old, religious Southerner (Pettitte) in a one game playoff for the division that will be won on a Jose Molina bunt single.

That's the plan, anyway.

Oh, Bleak!

So, Phil Hughes is hurt now? How intriguing.

Look, I’m no conspiracy theorist, but something is rotten in the state of Yank-mark (“Dropped Shakespeare on your ass” tag!). While the likelihood that Hughes is injured is certainly high, the timing of the injury is suspect. Let’s consider the facts: the kid’s been jostled around in virtually every start, the boo-birds have begun chirping, he’s clearly lost faith in his stuff and, following his worst start as a Big Leaguer on Tuesday night, the rumblings of a demotion were hot and heavy. It is interesting, then, that the Yankees – in the middle of the game last night – announced that the 21-year-old phenom was headed to the DL with a right oblique strain.

Already, we are hearing about how long these strains can take to heal, and Brian Cashman has uttered the infamous phrase “no timetable” in regard to Hughes’ return. None of this bodes well for the young man. Remember, Phil suffered his first injury, a hamstring pull, on May 1, 2007 (hey – weird!) and didn’t return to the mound until August 4. So, it took three months to heal the hammy. Is there any reason to believe that the oblique won’t keep him out for at least a month?

What I’m suggesting, ever-so-suspiciously, is that this injury is a very nice way to get the heat off of Phil Hughes for a while, without forcing him to endure the humiliation and fallout of being demoted Triple A. He can step away now, take it easy for a time, regroup mentally, and (ideally) regain his command. What’s more, he’ll return to Triple A anyway, only under the guise of a “rehab assignment,” so the Yanks themselves can even escape the stigma of having to ship him down.

On the flipside, if he is truly injured, then I am concerned about his durability. In essence, Phil Hughes has 3 months of Major League experience and he has already been shelved twice with muscle pulls. That’s not a good sign.

So, pick your poison: Phil Hughes the Psychologically Defeated, or, Phil Hughes the Injury-Prone?

And, for what it’s worth (which is really just my own self-satisfaction), it took NY Daily News beat writer Anthony McCarron only six paragraphs to remind us: “The Yankees passed on a blockbuster winter trade that would have sent Hughes to the Twins as part of a package for ace Johan Santana and the Bombers hoped their young pitchers would blossom.”

Ah, the sweet smell of second-guessing. Run, Phil! Run for the hills!

The Madman Says: The Yankees Are DOA

The reason the slow starts of the last three years have been so frustrating to fans is because, deep down, we knew that the Yankees were a great team that hadn't clicked. We expected / knew that things would turn and each loss merely prolonged unnecessary agony. This year's .500-ish start has a different feel. Somehow, even though the record is actually better at this stage than in seasons' past, the team may actually be playing at the level we should expect. And that, friends, is a scary thought.

Before even taking into account the frightening news on Jorge Posada being reported today by The New York Times, there are a few signs that point toward a anti-climactic 2008:

1. Help Us Andy/Wang, You're Our Only Hope: At this stage, Chien-Ming Wang and Andy Pettitte absolutely have to be lights-out to keep the Yankees afloat. With the question marks behind them in the rotation, the team cannot afford to have shaky outings from their "aces." Wang has held up his end of the bargain (as witnessed by yet another gem against the Indians today), but even a bad start here or there could keep the team from digging out of the holes they will inevitably dig. Pettitte, meanwhile, still looks to have good stuff, but his performance against the Tribe on Friday night (5 IP, 5 R, 8 H, 3 BB) is the type of outing that will certainly rear its ugly head from time to time if only because Andy is older.

2. The Learning Curve: I speak here of Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy. Let's face it, Kennedy was likely one pitch away yesterday, against the Indians, from being sent back to Scranton. The fact that he regrouped after a 3rd inning that saw him wilt under the pressure of the situation has bought him another start or two, but as has been addressed ad nauseum by every Yankees blog, he'll need to learn to trust his stuff, throw strikes, be aggressive in the zone, etc. This will take time, and lots of it. The same goes for Hughes. He, too, has looked overwhelmed and sporadically unsure of his game. Does this mean that they are busts? Absolutely not. Hughes, especially, has the goods; however, to expect them to click within 2 months of their first full year in the Majors is a lot to ask. They will probably need this year, at minimum, to turn themselves into Big League throwers.

3. The 'Pen Returns To Earth: Lots of people got excited, in the first few weeks of the season, about how sharp the bullpen looked, especially with Joba Chamberlain and Mariano Rivera leading the charge. And, while Joba and Mo still look great (Rivera especially impressive), the rest of the group has shown their true colors. LaTroy Hawkins and Kyle Farnsworth may have their moments, but the bad will almost surely outweigh the good, leaving them forever-undependable. Brian Bruney (we hardly knew ye'!) is gone for the year, facing ankle surgery, and while the injury will keep us from knowing for sure, my guess is that he was going to prove unreliable as well, as he did last year. Billy Traber's deal with the devil ran out quicker than expected, and he's back in the minors. Ross Ohlendorff is being overused and doesn't seem to have a role. Is the the long man? The mop-up guy? Or the 9th inning, tie-game, bases loaded stopper, as he was yesterday? Meanwhile, Chris Britton and Jonathan Albaladejo will likely be up and down all year, filling in when necessary. All in all, the 'pen is exactly what we feared it would be: a question mark at best; a hindrance at worst.

4. Slow Start, or Death Knell?: While, essentially, every member of the offense shares responsibilty for Yanks' putrid average with RISP, I'll focus my ire on Robinson Cano, who truly looks like a defeated man. As of today, he has the second lowest batting average of any MLB'er qualified for the batting title. His power is non-existent, as is his sweet, all-fields swing. More importantly, however, his confidence is non-existent, too. Surely, he will not end the year hitting .150, but if the Yankees want to contend this year, they cannot wait around for guys like Cano (and Giambi, Damon, ARod, etc.) to get going. They have to be off and running to make up for the runs that the starting staff and bullpen will surely give up.

5. Accept Your Defeats With Quiet Dignity and Grace: I am not a believer in the old "chemistry helps a team win" idea. If you have diversified talent on the field, you should win whether or not you hate your second baseman's guts or not. So, in making this criticism I am not suggesting that the Yankees lose a lot because of "intangible forces," but merely observing the dynamic of the team. Frankly, Joe Girardi looks like he's wound tighter than a South American-produced baseball circa 1998 (Remember when everybody thought the homerun barrage of the late '90's was because of a juiced ball and not juiced blood veins? Good times.) Girardi, in some respects got the cushiest job in baseball, as well as the hardest. Expectations are soaring, but reality is sinking in. This is not a good combo, and Joe II looks very, very stressed. That stress seems to be manifesting in over-strategising (a different lineup every night, oddly timed days off for starters, the destruction of the depth chart, etc.) Add in Hank Steinbrenner's inability to shut the fuck up, and you've got the makings of a season in which the game on the field is continuously overshadowed by the griping in the back office.

I make these remarks without any inherent anger or disappointment. But, really, am I wrong here? There is no joy in Mudville.
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Our Brand Is Crisis

Sucking early in the year is one thing. Sucking early in the year against the Red Sox is an entirely different kind of sucking.

Oh, Phil Hughes. What have you done?

Congratulations to Bill Madden of the New York Daily News for being the first local reporter to take a not-so-subtle, "told ya' so" shot at the Yankees for not pulling the trigger on the Johan Santana deal. Today, Madden writes, "Phil Hughes, the crown prince pitcher that Brian Cashman would not trade under any circumstances for Johan Santana, had his second straight abbreviated and ineffective outing..."

The "crown prince"? Sounds antagonistic to me. I also like the inclusion of the "under any circumstances" clause, just to emphasize how not traded Hughes was; as if Cashman is even dumber for not even having considered the deal.

Congratulations, as well, to Joel Sherman of the New York Post, the first local reporter to suggest that Phil Hughes (and Ian Kennedy) be shipped back to Triple A. Sherman writes, bafflingly, “Kei Igawa and Darrell Rasner are the best Triple-A possibilities at the moment, which explains why there will be plenty of leash for Hughes and Kennedy.”

Igawa? Rasner? Are you kidding me? This is embarrassing conjecture. Do you truly believe that there is a single member of the Yankees brain trust that is even thinking about sending Hughes and/or Kennedy down? Can you even comprehend, Joel Sherman, the PR nightmare that would ensue if that happened?

I realize more and more that it’s not the actual baseball games that drive me to the brink of insanity, but the media coverage of the games. These beat writers basically have carte blanche to write whatever emotion-driven, panic-stricken thought comes to their heads and report it as if it’s gospel.

Fact: the Yankees suck right now, and any Yankees fan worth his or her salt is miserable about it. No question. Hughes and Kennedy look awful, and there is a really good chance that they will not develop quickly enough (if at all) to allow the Yankees to contend this year. As a matter of fact, I have openly questioned why the Yankees didn’t make the Santana trade, seeing as how Johan is only 29, and if Phil Hughes ever pans-out, he will likely only ever be “as good” as the new Mets ace and never “better than”; however, this is the bed the team has made. If you ask me (and I’ll assume you did), the Yanks’ hierarchy knew in February, and knows now, that this may not be a playoff team. But the fact that guys like Madden and Sherman get to throw the city into hysterics after game 13 is immensely irritating.

In fact, if I were a good blogger (and our lack of readership indicates that I am not), I’d clip some quotes from the articles about Hughes’ first start against the Blue Jays a mere 10 days ago. Methinks the tone was probably a bit brighter on that glorious morning.

To recap, the Yankees suck. But what also sucks is the New York beat writers casting young and inexperienced pitchers (who the same writers constantly remind us are young and inexperienced) into the fiery reaches of hell for a couple of shitty starts.

Yes, the team is probably in trouble. No, it does not warrant the return of Kei Igawa to the rotation.

Calm down. Leave the unfounded ranting and raving where it belongs…in my living room.

Joe Girardi: Mad Scientist

As if trying to announce to the world, "This ain't Torre's team no more!" (boy, he uses bad grammar) Joe Girardi has raised eyebrows in Kansas City tonight by pulling Ian Kennedy from his scheduled start a mere 15 minutes before game time.

The official reasoning behind the move is that a forecast of rain could have wreaked havoc on young, impressionable, Mr. Kennedy, and the braintrust did not feel comfortable starting him up and abruptly pulling the plug. (Note: before the first inning concluded a downpour ensued, proving that meteorologists are actually right sometimes.)

Girardi's answer to a lack of a starting pitcher? Throw the whole bullpen out there! As of this writing, Brian Bruney, Billy Traber, and Kyle Farnsworth (the only one to give up a run thus far, of course) have already pitched, and we're only in the 5th inning. Now, while I understand the concern for the Kool-Aid Brigade (although I still say that if they belong on the club then they should be treated like everybody else), blowing up the entire 'pen over the course of one game with the Royals seems suspect. Remember, this is the same team that couldn't buy an out from their relief corp by the end of '07...and Brian Bruney was lights-out for the first-half of last year, too.

There does seem to be a method to our new Joe's madness, however. Being the sleuth that I am, I am betting the house that the "Kennedy assassination" (too soon?) has been committed due to the fact that Girardi doesn't want Phil Hughes pitching in Fenway. See, now, Kennedy can pitch the finale in K.C. tomorrow, leaving Andy Pettitte, Chin Mien-Wang, and Mike Mussina to pitch the Boston series this weekend. Note the above are all "seasoned" starters, which (in theory) improves the Yankees chances of beating the Sawx.

Seems a bit desperate, the whole devastating-the-bullpen-so-Hughes- and-Kennedy-don't-have their-fragile-psyches-shattered thing, but if the Yankees sweep in Boston (or simply win the series) we'll be hearing all about the genius of Girardi.

Now, about this Kansas City game...

EDIT: Ian Kennedy has entered the game in the 6th inning, trailing 2-0. What in holy fucking hell is going on?! Please, please, please, Baseball God(s), don't make Joe Girardi one of those bat-shit insane managers who thinks that they're cutting edge because they "don't go by the book."
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Hi! My Name Is: Phil Hughes (SP)

Each day, "Piss and Wynegar" will present Yankees "player previews" for the coming 2008 season. In what can only be referred to as a "revelatory" strategy, we will use statistics, as well as opinion, to further our analysis.

Phil is leading the charge of what I have lovingly dubbed, "The Kool-Aid Brigade." The "brigade" is made up, of course, of Mr. Hughes, Joba Chamberlain, and Ian Kennedy. The name is derived from the strangely overly-optimistic prognosis for the Yankees pitching staff that has arisen over the course of this off-season. It seems that most everyone truly believes that all three of these guys will blossom in 2008, despite the fact that history (and the law of averages, for that matter) would beg to differ.

But we'll save that for a more cynical post.

As far as Phil Hughes goes, we'll lay bets that he does just fine. In his 13 starts last year, Phil was statistically underwhelming in an admittedly small sample size. His 58 K's in 72.7 innings was okay, while his 29 BB's was alarmingly high. However, the die hard fan inside points to two moments that illicit great optimism:

1) Hughes's 6 1/3 inning "no-hitter" against the Texas Rangers on May 1 was one of the most exciting nights of 2007, as well as one of the most frustrating. His command and movement were "as advertised," and even though he left the game with a hamstring pull, no one could argue that Hughes was not the real deal.

2) Hughes's relief performance against the Indians in Game 3 of the 2007 ALDS was immensley satisfying. He had command, gitty-up and, most importantly, poise on a big stage. It was reminiscent of the Texas game and reminded fans (and maybe the organization) that he had the goods to succeed.

If the aforementioned Phil Hughes shows up for a large chunk of his starts, he'll ensure himself as a fixture for the future. If he doesn't, than the cries of "How could Cashman not make that Santana deal?!" will reign down on the Stadium sooner than we think.

To read earlier "Hi! My Name Is" entries, click here.