If At First Joe Doesn't Succeed, Try Another Joe

That man lurking in the foreground, scheming and dreaming of the moment that he would kill the good and benevolent King Torre, is your new Yankees skipper, Joe Girardi.

With all due respect to the former king, Mr. Torre, who most certainly proved himself to be a gentleman and a scholar in his tenure with the Bombers, we are more appreciative of the new look at the helm than we are of the memory of Torre calmly sipping green tea in the dugout while trying to force Scott Proctor into early retirement.

Frankly, the fact that Joe Girardi could earn Manager of the Year in 2006 and simultaneously get himself fired by the Marlins is something we thought only Ozzie Guillen was capable of. We are intrigued, to say the least. Also, his managerial approach sounds vaguely similar to that of Buck Showalter. So, while he will bring a hands-on approach to each and every game like Buck, we also have to assume this means that the Yankees won't win a championship until 2011 (the year after Girardi is fired and all of his well-laid plans come to fruition), like Buck.

As sacrilegious as it might sound, the truth of the matter is that, at this stage, anybody was a better choice than Torre. Again, Joe #1 is, no doubt, a fantastic man with Reiki-like powers, but we can't help feeling that the job had finally passed him by. You see, Joe Torre never really changed his in-game approach; it only occasionally alternated between mildly questionable and disturbingly questionable. The decisions he made from 1996-2001 simply worked out. From 2002-on, the magic touch failed him. Whether remaining ridiculously loyal to players who had no business being on the field (see: Gary Sheffield, 2006 postseason), or trusting too few men in the bullpen (see: Proctor, Scott; Nelson, Jeff; Quantrill, Paul; etc.) to the point that he began to damage them, the cracks in Torre's armor were beginning to show.

And, by the way, in case you don't believe us on the whole "questionable approach" thesis, look no further than a recent L.A. Dodgers Spring Training article in which Torre heaps praise on Mr. Juan Pierre and essentially guarantees him a starting spot in a talent-heavy pool of outfielders (Pierre notwithstanding):

“I’ve always been one to favor experience….Juan Pierre brings so many things. He plays all the time,he gets 200 hits, steals 60 bases. We know he has no power, but he’s a gamer. He’s the type of player that fits into a winning situation.”

Its seems important to point out here that Juan Pierre isn't a very good player. He makes a lot of outs -- a lot of them -- and his "gamer-ness" involves a great deal of bad decisions at the plate. But, because he's got "experience," Torre's going to give him a shot. Now, Yankees fans, remember that this was the man managing our team for the last 12 seasons. He gave us a lot of thrills, but he's also giving Juan Pierre a starting job.

So, we here at "Piss and Wynegar" give Joe Girardi our heartfelt congratulations and support. Godspeed, sir, and good luck. We're glad that, finally, following a crushing loss to a division rival late in the season, we can imagine tables and chairs being flipped over in the clubhouse in a Billy Martin-esque rage.