Do You Dare To Pump Your Fist At Me, Sir?

Scandal has rocked Yankeetown yet again, this time following a much-needed victory. Young Joba Chamberlain’s fist has gotten people talking.

Upon seeing Chamberlain’s boisterous reaction to his 8^th inning, two-out strikeout of David Delucci in Wednesday’s matinee (with a three-run lead), I immediately cringed. The kid is a bit of a brat. While energy and enthusiasm is grand (and, one could easily argue, has been missing from this team for several seasons) there comes a point when it starts to look childish.

Joba is reaching that point.

While a small, self-satisfied fist-pump, or slap of the glove, would not raise any eyebrows, the guy celebrated like it was Game 7 of the World Series, or, at the very least, like the situation was pressure-filled. It wasn’t, and the reaction was overblown.

What’s more, when we contrast the "Joba Yell" of yesterday to the reaction following his game-blowing three-run homerun to Delucci on Tuesday night, the childishness becomes more apparent. By now, the moment has been much discussed: Chamberlain, seeming to have suffered a mental break, was filmed pulling the hair out of his head in the dugout following the inning.

Not only is that immature, it’s borderline frightening.

However, it should not go without saying that the Indians (Delucci, in particular) made themselves look pathetic as well, following the game, in response to Joba’s celebration.

First, this nugget from Delucci: “…if a hitter was to do something like that they’d probably say it was bush [league], and you shouldn’t do it…It’s kind of funny how a pitcher can get away with it.”

Ummm, David? Watch much baseball? Hitters don’t get a way with it?! Please refer to Ramirez, Manny; Bonds, Barry; or any other big hitter who likes to watch the ball fly over the fence from the comfort of their batter’s box. Are you seriously that jaded? How many pitchers are notorious for their posturing? Right now, Joba Chamberlain is part of a very small fraternity that includes Carlos Zambrano, and not many dudes wanna be bros with Carlos Zambrano. The number of pompous hitters, though, would take several minutes to list. Spare me your heartache.

Delucci wasn’t done dishing out the truth, however. In comparing his homerun on Tuesday to Chamberlain’s strikeout yesterday, the utility-man bragged, “My homerun was in a much bigger situation, more a key part of the game, and I didn’t dance around and scream.”

Translation: “Neh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehhhh. My homerun was soooo much better than your strikeout. Your strikeout sucked. My homerun rocked. My homerun was totally more awesome than your stupid strikeout.”

On second thought, I take it back. Joba: pump away. You're no worse than anybody else.

The Mighty Crystal Has Struck Out

Paul Maholm, you have my undying respect.

Let’s face it. The “Billy Crystal is a Yankee for a Day” thing was ridiculous. You might even go so far as to say that it was a farce. Working out with the team is fine. Taking batting practice with the team is adorable. Running drills with the team is quaint. But playing in an actual Major League Baseball game is bordering on sacrilegious.

We’re not prudes. Fun is fun. But we also believe in the sanctity of the game, and bringing in some guy off of the street to play in a game between two legit squads – regardless of whether it is Spring Training or not – is outrageous. And, just because Billy Crystal is famous, and 60, doesn’t exempt him from this fact. In the world of baseball he is “some guy.” What has he contributed to warrant this kind of special treatment? He loved Mickey Mantle? He remembers the old Yankee Stadium? Does a mean Bob Shepard impersonation? Can spin yarn about “the good ol’ days” when he could by a bleacher seat for a nickel and be whisked away by the aura of Yankees baseball?

Mix in the debacle that was the Dane Cook “This Is October” campaign last year, and MLB’s fascination with over-hyped comedians is getting uncomfortable.

In retrospect, we should probably look on the bright side. The two teams could have turned this into a bit, in which Maholm would have thrown behind Crystal, who would then have uproariously charged the pitcher, only to grab his back and feign a muscle spasm as he approached the mound, at which point Jason Bay would have picked-up Billy, put him over his shoulder and placed him, gently, back in the batter’s box. Comedy gold! (Actually in my mind, this was the original plan, but it had to be scrapped when Shelley Duncan threatened to body slam Xavier Nady if “anybody touches Billy!”)

To Crystal’s credit, though (and we can give credit here; we’re not that angry), he did take a couple of good hacks, and even…worked the count? He meant business, and the simple fact that he touched an 88 mph fastball (or so the radar gun said) warrants a slap on the back. But, really, DH? In a real game? Leading off?

I swear to God, if Kevin Costner even shows his face in a Major League locker room this season, just blow up the Hall of Fame.

Hi! My Name Is: Wilson Betemit (3B, SS, 2B, 1B)

Each day, "Piss and Wynegar" will present Yankees "player previews" for the coming 2008 season. In what can only be referred to as a "revelatory" strategy, we will use statistics, as well as opinion, to further our analysis.


Betemit wasn't overly impressive after coming to the Yankees from L.A. at the trade deadline last year, but any trade that saves us from having to watch Scott Proctor throw 90 innings by mid-July is alright in our book. Staggeringly, our new jack-of-all-trades struck out 82 times in 240 AB last year. That’s a strikeout every three goddamn at bats! Are you even allowed to be in the majors with that kind of ratio? For the sake of comparison, A-Rod led the team in strikeouts last year with 120, which equated to a K every 5 AB. Yeesh.

While Betemit shows some power potential, that's about it at this point. His career numbers suggest a better year in '08, and more regular playing time will (hopefully) help Wilson along. The Yankees have coveted him for some time, so we'll assume the scouts know what they're doing. Now, please excuse us while we prepare the Kei Igawa preview.

To read previous "Hi! My Name Is" entries, click here.