Always Wash Your Hands After Going to the Bathroom

The Yankees have seen some roster movement today and one of those moves is most definitely worth noting.

No, it's not the call-up of journeyman catcher Chad Moeller.

No, it's not the return of Derek Jeter following a 6-game absence.

Yes, it is Wilson Betemit being placed on the DL with conjunctivitis, or, as we lehmans like to call it: pink eye.

Pink eye.

So far this year, that's right up there with Kaz Matsui's anal fissures and Felix Pie's twisted testicles (is that a cover band?) as far as ridiculous injuries are concerned.

I'm sure the pink eye is extremely debilitating and has nothing to do with the fact that Wilson Betemit has struck out 7 times in 13 AB and has proven himself to be a bonafied liability off the bench.

I can almost hear the conversation that went down today.

(Harp music plays.)

Yankees: So, Wilson, you've got pink eye.

Betemit: Yup. No big deal.

Yankees: We're gonna put you on the shelf.

Betemit: What? Why? It's just pink eye. A few eye drops and I'll be fine.

Yankees: No. We think it's best that you rest the eye for a couple of weeks. We want you healthy for the long run.

Betemit: But...

Yankees: GET ON THE FUCKING DL, WILSON!!
_

Hi! My Name Is: Wilson Betemit (3B, SS, 2B, 1B)

Each day, "Piss and Wynegar" will present Yankees "player previews" for the coming 2008 season. In what can only be referred to as a "revelatory" strategy, we will use statistics, as well as opinion, to further our analysis.


Betemit wasn't overly impressive after coming to the Yankees from L.A. at the trade deadline last year, but any trade that saves us from having to watch Scott Proctor throw 90 innings by mid-July is alright in our book. Staggeringly, our new jack-of-all-trades struck out 82 times in 240 AB last year. That’s a strikeout every three goddamn at bats! Are you even allowed to be in the majors with that kind of ratio? For the sake of comparison, A-Rod led the team in strikeouts last year with 120, which equated to a K every 5 AB. Yeesh.

While Betemit shows some power potential, that's about it at this point. His career numbers suggest a better year in '08, and more regular playing time will (hopefully) help Wilson along. The Yankees have coveted him for some time, so we'll assume the scouts know what they're doing. Now, please excuse us while we prepare the Kei Igawa preview.

To read previous "Hi! My Name Is" entries, click here.