Always Wash Your Hands After Going to the Bathroom

The Yankees have seen some roster movement today and one of those moves is most definitely worth noting.

No, it's not the call-up of journeyman catcher Chad Moeller.

No, it's not the return of Derek Jeter following a 6-game absence.

Yes, it is Wilson Betemit being placed on the DL with conjunctivitis, or, as we lehmans like to call it: pink eye.

Pink eye.

So far this year, that's right up there with Kaz Matsui's anal fissures and Felix Pie's twisted testicles (is that a cover band?) as far as ridiculous injuries are concerned.

I'm sure the pink eye is extremely debilitating and has nothing to do with the fact that Wilson Betemit has struck out 7 times in 13 AB and has proven himself to be a bonafied liability off the bench.

I can almost hear the conversation that went down today.

(Harp music plays.)

Yankees: So, Wilson, you've got pink eye.

Betemit: Yup. No big deal.

Yankees: We're gonna put you on the shelf.

Betemit: What? Why? It's just pink eye. A few eye drops and I'll be fine.

Yankees: No. We think it's best that you rest the eye for a couple of weeks. We want you healthy for the long run.

Betemit: But...

Yankees: GET ON THE FUCKING DL, WILSON!!
_