YES Network Needs To Get Laid, Apparently

The pseudo-second half of the 2008 season began tonight with the Yankees taking on the Oakland Athletics and the YES Network was hot to trot.

First, we at Piss and Wynegar salute the network for beating us to the punch when it comes to making childish puns related to Richie Sexson. Before the game even began, the stats of the Yanks' new part-time first baseman (I'll take credit, by the way) were presented with the header, "Sexson and The City." Nice job, YES. The play on words was topical and, most importantly, conjured images of entitled, stuffy white women drinking cosmopolitans to fill the oversexed voids in their lives. Now that's baseball. Nothing gets me ready to watch a ballgame like the thought of Kim Catrall's vagina. Nothing.

Second, I must admit a new appreciation for David "Capt. Obvious" Cone after he shared a questionable on-air anecdote about his early days in the minors. Seems that one small town organization used to run a "25 Cent Beer" gimmick every Wednesday night. Cone, with great pride, recalled that the team owner would allow the players -- with a win -- to stay late and "finish off the kegs." What's more, Cone also gleefully recalled that the young, college-aged "usherettes" employed at the stadium would also be permitted to partake of the libation.

After Cone finished his tale of drunken debauchery, Ken Singleton could only muster an uncomfortable, muffled chuckle.

Nothin' like good ol' sports broadcasting. Fun for the whole family!
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