Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, Jonathan

Jonathan Papelbon, you just don't get it do you?

When asked, during his All-Star press conference, whether he or Mariano Rivera should get the nod to close out the ninth:

"If I was managing the team, I would close. I'm not managing the team, so it don't matter. [Mariano Rivera and I have] both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he's done for this role, we're in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah. It's not that easy. Everybody thinks it's a cut and dry answer, but it's not."

Oh...my...lord.

I could embark on a rant about Papelbon's arrogance and ignorance, but I'll refrain. I'll let his own remarks speak for themselves, because eventually it is his remarks that will make him one of the most reviled players in the game.

Good luck tonight, Paps.

UPDATE: Jonathan appeared in the 8th inning and was absolutely pummeled by the Yankee Stadium crowd. Chants of "Mariano!" and "Overrated!" echoed through The House and -- whaddyaknow? -- Papelbon surrendered the go-ahead run. Ah, satisfaction.

Buck and McCarver were, shockingly, indignant about the reaction that Paps' comments received from the media and the crowd, insisting that the closer is immensely respectful of Mariano Rivera. (He's not.)

McCarver "highlight": During the "Overrated!" chant, Papelbon struck out Dan Uggla, prompting the drawler to snidely remark, "To those who think he's overrated, Papelbon says, 'Grab a bat.'" Wait, you mean Jonathan Papelbon would actually strike out Vinny from Brooklyn if they were to face off? Daring prognostication, Tim. You're right. I have vastly underestimated this young whippersnapper of a closer.
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Yanks Beat Boston; Yanks' Fans Commence Picking Up Televisions From Living Room Floor

So, in the end, Mariano Rivera did not complete the turn to the Dark Side by single-handedly handing the Red Sox a victory; however, there are, we're sure, many a moccasin planted firmly in the center of countless plasma televisions this evening thanks to one Tim McCarver.

As the Yankees reached critical mass in the ninth inning, following the second hit-batsman of the frame (the seventh of the game [!]), McCarver, in his infinite hyperbolic, down home wisdom, uttered the following (it's more effective if you imagine that slow, Southernish drawl that gets more pronounced as McCarver's analysis becomes more inept): "If the Yankees lose this game, against this team, in this situation, with Mariano Rivera on the mound, it could have a crippling effect on the Yankees' season."

Really, Tim? A crippling effect? Would the Yankees be so crippled so as to fail to take the field for the remaining 70 games? Should Joe Girardi have waved the white flag? Should the team have come to the park tomorrow wearing Tampa Bay Rays hats (seriously, that would be better than the "patriotic" motif being sported for a second consecutive day).

I try not to get too caught-up in the "biased announcer" bit (instilled in me by my father, who convinced me in 1986 that Vin Scully hates all New Yorkers), but this remark was simply the icing on the proverbial cake for the day. Joe Buck and good ol' Timmy practically wet themselves over the idea of the Yankees losing the game. Now, I get the hard network sell -- they want to keep their viewers -- but when the hard sell in the ninth is compounded by three-and-a-half hours of pom-pom waving for Boston (Dustin Pedroia...what a gamer! What facial hair!) it was nearly enough to send me over the edge despite my new and improved relaxed approach to game watching.

Need more proof? How about the enlightening discussion of the ocean-like depth of the Sawx farm system compared to the overhyped Yankees'. When speaking of Clay Buckholtz (over a 5.00 ERA in the Bigs this year, and nearly two months on the shelf, by the way), Joe Buck exclaimed: "The Yankees would kill to have someone like that waiting in the wings!" as if Joba Chamerblain and Phil Hughes are fetching cars in the parking lot.

Look, I understand that the Yankees have been in the limelight for over 12 years now and there's a lot of baseball fans who are sick of them. I, for one, was ecstatic when the Braves started missing the playoffs if only because I was tired of watching them lose in the first round every goddamn year; however, Buck and McCarver should probably keep in mind that a majority of their audience is coming directly from the New York market...fans in Boise, Idaho can probably afford to miss the game. So, watch your mouths, boys. This is the stuff that comes back to bite you in your Yankee-hating asses.
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Concerns About Schilling's Shoulder, Weight Force Red Sox to Sign Bartolo Colon as Insurance

I'm sorry. I just really wanted to type that headline.

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
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