Saturday, December 6, 2008

Skippy, You're Dominican

In a shocking turn of events, Alex Rodriguez has decided to be Dominican before CC Sabathia has decided to be a Yankee.

I hope nobody had any money on that over/under.

Truly, only ARod could mess up this non-momentous, non-event twice. In the winter of 2006, I recall sitting on the edge of my seat, losing sleep, waiting to find out if our hero would don the uniform of the stars n' stripes for the WBC or honor his Dominican heritage and play for the good ol' D.R. It was a decision Alex ended up making no less than three different times, and in doing so, somehow (as he always does) managed to make himself look like a total ass. And now, in 2008, while he has made his definitive intentions known, he throws this gem into the mix:

“This time, there will be no doubts and it is a dream of my mom’s that I intend to fulfill.”

Ah, "the dream." Oh, how long ARod's mother has yearned to see her son compete for the Dominican Republic in the WBC. Of course, by now we've all heard the now-legendary stories of Mrs. Rod sitting a bright-eyed, tee-ball-aged Alex on her lap and extolling the virtues of playing for the Dominican in a fabricated, money-generating farce of a baseball competition that wouldn't be invented for thirty years.

Well, Mrs. Rod, today your baby boy honors your dream.

And by "honors your dream" I mean, "Uses you so as not to look like a fickle, self-conscious tool."

EDIT: While revisiting the MLB.com article linked in this post, I happened to notice the caption under the picture of ARod. It reads, " 'It will be a very special day for me and my family to see me play again with a Dominican uniform,' said U.S.-born Alex Rodriguez, who claims dual citizenship. " Nicely placed passive-aggressive insult there, MLB. Kudos to you.
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