Andy, Don't Go Away Mad...

...just go away.

Here's a little excerpt from an article by FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal:

Mike Mussina has retired, and the Yankees could lose Andy Pettitte, too.

Don't believe it?

Pettitte, 36, has spoken more than once with his former manager, Joe Torre, about joining the Dodgers, according to major-league sources.

And, lest anyone forget, Pettitte has a history of changing teams as a free agent when he does not feel completely wanted.

First, let me acknowledge that I understand that this is likely just a writer stirring something up to make a very, very dull couple of weeks more interesting. It's all part of the baseball media's smoke and mirrors act, in which "gut feeling" is disguised as "analysis," I know.

But something about those lines struck a chord in me, and I simply feel the need to comment.

If Andy Pettitte truly doesn't feel "wanted," will somebody please remind him to not let the proverbial door hit him on his proverbial ass on the way out of proverbial town? (Scratch that last "proverbial.") Honestly, somewhere in the dark recesses of his God-fearing soul, could Andy Pettitte actually be annoyed that the Yankees are taking a laisez-faire attitude toward resigning him? Please, Ken Rosenthal. Please tell me you're just pulling this out of your ass. (That's rhetorical, Ken. I'm sure you are.)

But let's play along for a minute. It would be the absolute height of ridiculousness if one fiber of Pettitte's being is currently feeling sorry for himself. While Andy has been a big part of the last decade-and-a-half, this is the same man that, conveniently, accepted $16 million from the Yanks last season, just a few short days before the Mitchell Report was released, is it not? Bet the big guy wasn't feeling too unwanted at the moment he realized he was about to become a baseball pariah, huh? Do you think Andy told Brian Cashman, as he picked up that pen and prepared to sign on the dotted line, "Oh, Bri-Bri. Next week I'm going to admit to doing steroids. Is that cool?"

Andy, your ass better feel all-sorts of "wanted" next year. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you constantly look the stadium in fear of bounty hunters. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you ride a steel horse to the park each day. I want you to feel so "wanted" that you insist your baseball card photo consist of a front-facing photo and a profile shot...in black and fucking white.

You owe us one.
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